I appreciate the vulnerability and honesty in your writing. Opening up like this takes tremendous strength, and it shows just how deeply you are reflecting on your journey. To me, I don’t see a broken house or failure; I see resilience. I see someone striving, holding the pieces together with every ounce of strength, love, and care—qualities that Allah sees and rewards. What I see is a heart fighting to stay intact despite the challenges that life throws its way.
Personally, I have walked a path of self-doubt, where I sought validation from others, longing to be appreciated. But over time, I’ve come to adopt a philosophy rooted in the Sufi tradition: to seek the pleasure of Allah alone. As Sufis say, “God-pleasing is my religion.” It’s not easy, and I still struggle, especially with my own weaknesses and lapses in faith. But I’ve come to understand that true acknowledgment comes only from Allah, not people. We are taught that there are beings in the heavens whose purpose is to praise the ones whom Allah has chosen. Their praise is the only recognition that matters. This is what I strive for, even if I stumble along the way.
The hadith that resonates deeply with me is, “One who knows himself knows his Lord.” This is the essence of our journey—self-discovery. Perhaps this is why we feel such relief in moments of catharsis, like writing. Writing allows us to confront our true selves, beyond the layers of self-deception we often live behind. In uncovering our own soul, we inch closer to understanding Allah.
Speaking of the heart, it’s fascinating how science now confirms what the Quran has always emphasized. Recent studies have shown that the heart has its own nervous system, and in many ways, it can override the brain. The Sufis say that the heart is the real “CPU,” while the brain is merely a monitor. Allah constantly reminds us in the Quran to think and reflect with our hearts. “Do they not travel through the land so that their hearts may reason?” (Quran 22:46). The heart is the seat of true understanding and where the divine secrets are revealed.
On obedience to parents, the Quran is very clear: “And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy, and say: My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small” (Quran 17:24). Even the smallest expression of irritation, like saying “uff,” is forbidden. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) once said that if his mother had been alive and called him while he was praying, he would have broken his prayer to answer her call. This shows the immense value Islam places on honoring our parents. So when you serve your mother, know that you are fulfilling one of the greatest commands of Allah. What you do is blessed, no matter how difficult it may seem.
Look at our exemplars in Islam, especially the women who embody strength through trial. Bibi Fatima (AS), despite being the beloved daughter of the Prophet (PBUH), lived a life of simplicity and hardship. She would grind grain with her own hands and tend to her household despite the heavy demands on her. And look at her daughter, Bibi Zainab (RA), who stood firm during the tragedy of Karbala, embodying courage and dignity. She was the daughter of Sher-e-Khuda (the Lion of God), Hazrat Ali (AS), and her strength in the face of overwhelming sorrow speaks volumes about the inner fortitude passed down through her lineage.
And then there’s the story of Awais Qarni(RA), whose obedience to his mother kept him from meeting the Prophet (PBUH) in person. His love for the Prophet was profound, yet his mother’s command came first. For this, the Prophet honored him, despite them never meeting in this world. The Prophet (PBUH) said that if anyone could meet Awais, they should ask him to pray for them. This shows the high regard the Prophet (PBUH) had for him and the spiritual status he held due to his devotion and obedience. Imagine being recognized by the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) himself, solely because of your obedience and love for your mother. What a maqam!
As for patience and endurance, look at the wife of Pharaoh, Asiya (RA), who lived in unimaginable luxury yet faced the most severe trials. She was married to the most tyrannical man, yet Allah elevated her because of her faith and patience. She stood as a beacon of light amidst the darkness. Allah says of her in the Quran: “And Allah sets forth an example for those who believe—the wife of Pharaoh. Behold, she said: ‘My Lord! Build for me, in nearness to You, a mansion in the Garden, and save me from Pharaoh and his deeds’” (Quran 66:11). Despite her suffering, her heart was fixed on Allah alone.
Bibi Mariam (AS), too, is a perfect example of one chosen by Allah, yet subjected to trials that would crush the average soul. The Quran says of her: “And remember when the angels said, ‘O Mary, indeed Allah has chosen you, purified you, and chosen you above the women of the worlds’” (Quran 3:42). Despite her high status, she endured immense pain, yet she remained steadfast, knowing that her trials were from Allah.
Remember the words of Abu Huraira (RA), who said, “When I came to know that those most beloved to Allah are tested the most, I took the pain with honor.”
You are on a journey, one that leads to becoming among the friend of Allah, those about whom He says: “Indeed, the friends of Allah will have no fear, nor will they grieve” (Quran 10:62). The Wali of Allah only fears Allah, and this fear removes all other fears. Keep striving, keep moving, because what you are doing, as long as it is for Allah, is a path that leads to freedom from all grief and fear.
May Allah grant you strength in this journey, and may you find the peace and tranquility of the heart that comes from drawing nearer to Him. May your struggles be a means of elevation, and may Allah make your heart the place where divine light settles.
firstly, thank you so much. that is so heartwarming and reassuring to hear, jazakallah khairan x1000 for your kindness.
'This is what I strive for, even if I stumble along the way' - that's really inspiring, may Allah bless and reward you for your efforts and striving for His sake, Ameen. i actually forgot about the angels / beings that praise the ones Allah has chosen. thank you for reminding me of that - you're so right, their praise and Allah's praise, of course, is far more important than anybody else :) i absolutely *love* sufism.
and, you have gems within your own writing. 'In uncovering our own soul, we inch closer to understanding Allah' - that's profound. Masha’Allah.
jazakallah khair for your words on serving my mother, it truly is so reassuring hearing that, given the whole situation and what i'm being told. it's incredibly comforting. alhamdulillah.
and thank you for all those examples. it reminds me of surah fatihah - 'guide us on the right path, the path of whom thou has bestowed thy blessings' - to follow in the righteous' footsteps. i'm definitely going to remember these and try and take inspiration from all of them - may Allah bless them abundantly, Ameen. it's clear that you are highly knowledgeable, thank you and jazakallah khair for sharing some of it with me to provide comfort.
Allahumma Ameen to your du'a and i pray the same for you, Ameen. may Allah reward you for all the knowledge you give out to everyone and i pray it becomes a great sadaqah jariyah for you long after you pass, Ameen.
MashaAllah, I am really amazed by your strength and resilience! That's a really difficult position to put in, thank you for sharing your experiences authentically. I know you said you feel like you're not being understood by the people around you, but you sharing your experiences is making someone else going through a similar situation feel seen and heard and understood. At least you are able to communicate your experiences profoundly in a way that someone else may find comfort in knowing that they are not alone in this experience. I definitely relate to holding on to hope to have a peaceful, loving household "one where you won't want to escape from, but one you'll want to escape to". May Allah grant us this blessing in this life and the next, Ameen!
this is so heartwarming to hear, you have no idea. i'm so glad that that's the case, alhamdulillah :) Allahumma Ameen, may we feel such stability, safety and peace in our homes, Ameen ♡ thank you for your comment, i appreciate it more than i can express in words ♡
I cried reading this. Especially the part about how this life is a manifestation of la ilaaha illallah. I am also in awe at how you wrote about something so personal and difficult. May Allah swt make it easy for you. I hope I can learn from this and apply it in my own life with my own family problems.
oh sweetheart :’((( sending a lot of hugs. thank you so much for reading and leaving this comment. Ameen, and may Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ make it more easy for you, Ameen! ♡
It's crazy how in this day and age, divorce is still such a taboo topic to talk about with friends and family. What's crazy is that during the Prophets time (1400 years ago) it wasn't like this, and if you wanted a divorce you could just do it. Instead of waiting for things to get worse and worse all because you're afraid of what people will say (who cares?!). It's so sad because this affects the couple, as well as their kids.
IMO divorce is a simple thing (if done like how Allah describes in the Quran), but community considers it such an "unmentionable" disgrace. How many wives of the Prophet were divorcees?!
Sending lots of love your way, and I pray that you have the gentle and loving household you always wanted! ❤️
First of all, you’re so brave for deciding to open up and communicate your feelings with your dad. It’s not easy to tell someone about things that have been causing you discomfort, ESPECIALLY when you don’t know how their response will be. In this case, the response *wasnt* what you wanted to hear so ofcourse, it must be hard for you. Secondly , thank you for choosing to share this with us. There’s absolutely nothing wrong or weird with having divorced parents. Most of my friends have separated parents and all of them have different dynamics with their parents. And honestly, even if your parents are together, it doesn’t always mean it’s an ideal relationship/marriage!
I had a similar experience recently, where I felt misunderstood and overlooked, my wants/needs belittled. A wildly different scenario to yours, but I’m proud of you for communicating your feelings :) perhaps that’s what Allah wanted, to see how you would handle the response to that. This is probably a test, and He wants you to have faith and reliance in Him throughout this. Im praying that He makes it easy for you and that he gives your heart tranquility soon <3
thank you sm nuur :') your words mean more to me than i can express. but that's always the case with you :") and that's also so reassuring to hear, the experiences i've had in my life with muslims after i tell them my parents are divorced are so disheartening. i'm so glad that's not the case with the whole world. jazakallah khair for your kindness.
and ahhh, i'm so sorry to hear that. it really is upsetting, isn't it? :( if you feel comfortable enough, maybe you should also softly and respectfully speak up and communicate your feelings. sometimes, like in my case, it might not go the way you want but it definitely adds to your overall confidence and courage to stand up for yourself :)
it probably is a test #sigh. but then it's good bc it's a way of attaining nearness to Allah, alhamdulillah. Allahumma Ameen and i pray the same for you too, Ameen! ♡ sending lots of love. jazakallah khair for your comment :)
Jazzakullai khairan for this beautiful post! It is a fact that everyone has struggles even with the faith but it is difficult to come to terms with them when you yourself are drowning. Thank you for sharing such a personal problem and how you have beautifully been able to by Allah's Mercy attribute it to Him. I am honestly learning so much from you and I just want to say that your strength is remarkable Allahummah barik. Almighty Allah will make a way for you, His plans for us are greater than our greatest dreams for He is the best of Planners. May Allah SWT grant you ease in your affairs and relief to your burdens. Ameen.
(This is a bit late, but…) May Allah grant you the strength to get through this challenging time in your life, and may He grant barakat + ease into all your affairs امين 🤲
This is a really vulnerable post, and it absolutely takes a lot of strength to be able to share it, so I commend you for your bravery. Having to bear such unfairness is undoubtedly one to make our blood boil, but sometimes that unfairness—this obvious injustice—just won’t be acknowledged by the ones we think/know should be acknowledging it. To hold onto taqwa, to hold onto the principles of Islam in the face of such challenges, is truly like holding a piece of hot coal.
Your insights regarding how fighting against our nafs manifests in dealing with our ego, dealing with how we want others to respond to us—be with us, on our side—has me mind blown. It’s something I’m realizing I’ve been struggling with as well, and you put it into all the words I haven’t been able to tie together myself.
I love how you seek, and relate the names of Allah into your life. After reading your post, I’ve been trying to find ways to find the attribute of Al Basit in my own life; trying to find ways, making du’a to eradicate my nafs, as well.
Jazakillahu khairan for this post. Thank you so much for sharing, and again, I pray all goodness for you and for ease in your struggles 💜
I appreciate the vulnerability and honesty in your writing. Opening up like this takes tremendous strength, and it shows just how deeply you are reflecting on your journey. To me, I don’t see a broken house or failure; I see resilience. I see someone striving, holding the pieces together with every ounce of strength, love, and care—qualities that Allah sees and rewards. What I see is a heart fighting to stay intact despite the challenges that life throws its way.
Personally, I have walked a path of self-doubt, where I sought validation from others, longing to be appreciated. But over time, I’ve come to adopt a philosophy rooted in the Sufi tradition: to seek the pleasure of Allah alone. As Sufis say, “God-pleasing is my religion.” It’s not easy, and I still struggle, especially with my own weaknesses and lapses in faith. But I’ve come to understand that true acknowledgment comes only from Allah, not people. We are taught that there are beings in the heavens whose purpose is to praise the ones whom Allah has chosen. Their praise is the only recognition that matters. This is what I strive for, even if I stumble along the way.
The hadith that resonates deeply with me is, “One who knows himself knows his Lord.” This is the essence of our journey—self-discovery. Perhaps this is why we feel such relief in moments of catharsis, like writing. Writing allows us to confront our true selves, beyond the layers of self-deception we often live behind. In uncovering our own soul, we inch closer to understanding Allah.
Speaking of the heart, it’s fascinating how science now confirms what the Quran has always emphasized. Recent studies have shown that the heart has its own nervous system, and in many ways, it can override the brain. The Sufis say that the heart is the real “CPU,” while the brain is merely a monitor. Allah constantly reminds us in the Quran to think and reflect with our hearts. “Do they not travel through the land so that their hearts may reason?” (Quran 22:46). The heart is the seat of true understanding and where the divine secrets are revealed.
On obedience to parents, the Quran is very clear: “And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy, and say: My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small” (Quran 17:24). Even the smallest expression of irritation, like saying “uff,” is forbidden. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) once said that if his mother had been alive and called him while he was praying, he would have broken his prayer to answer her call. This shows the immense value Islam places on honoring our parents. So when you serve your mother, know that you are fulfilling one of the greatest commands of Allah. What you do is blessed, no matter how difficult it may seem.
Look at our exemplars in Islam, especially the women who embody strength through trial. Bibi Fatima (AS), despite being the beloved daughter of the Prophet (PBUH), lived a life of simplicity and hardship. She would grind grain with her own hands and tend to her household despite the heavy demands on her. And look at her daughter, Bibi Zainab (RA), who stood firm during the tragedy of Karbala, embodying courage and dignity. She was the daughter of Sher-e-Khuda (the Lion of God), Hazrat Ali (AS), and her strength in the face of overwhelming sorrow speaks volumes about the inner fortitude passed down through her lineage.
And then there’s the story of Awais Qarni(RA), whose obedience to his mother kept him from meeting the Prophet (PBUH) in person. His love for the Prophet was profound, yet his mother’s command came first. For this, the Prophet honored him, despite them never meeting in this world. The Prophet (PBUH) said that if anyone could meet Awais, they should ask him to pray for them. This shows the high regard the Prophet (PBUH) had for him and the spiritual status he held due to his devotion and obedience. Imagine being recognized by the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) himself, solely because of your obedience and love for your mother. What a maqam!
As for patience and endurance, look at the wife of Pharaoh, Asiya (RA), who lived in unimaginable luxury yet faced the most severe trials. She was married to the most tyrannical man, yet Allah elevated her because of her faith and patience. She stood as a beacon of light amidst the darkness. Allah says of her in the Quran: “And Allah sets forth an example for those who believe—the wife of Pharaoh. Behold, she said: ‘My Lord! Build for me, in nearness to You, a mansion in the Garden, and save me from Pharaoh and his deeds’” (Quran 66:11). Despite her suffering, her heart was fixed on Allah alone.
Bibi Mariam (AS), too, is a perfect example of one chosen by Allah, yet subjected to trials that would crush the average soul. The Quran says of her: “And remember when the angels said, ‘O Mary, indeed Allah has chosen you, purified you, and chosen you above the women of the worlds’” (Quran 3:42). Despite her high status, she endured immense pain, yet she remained steadfast, knowing that her trials were from Allah.
Remember the words of Abu Huraira (RA), who said, “When I came to know that those most beloved to Allah are tested the most, I took the pain with honor.”
You are on a journey, one that leads to becoming among the friend of Allah, those about whom He says: “Indeed, the friends of Allah will have no fear, nor will they grieve” (Quran 10:62). The Wali of Allah only fears Allah, and this fear removes all other fears. Keep striving, keep moving, because what you are doing, as long as it is for Allah, is a path that leads to freedom from all grief and fear.
May Allah grant you strength in this journey, and may you find the peace and tranquility of the heart that comes from drawing nearer to Him. May your struggles be a means of elevation, and may Allah make your heart the place where divine light settles.
firstly, thank you so much. that is so heartwarming and reassuring to hear, jazakallah khairan x1000 for your kindness.
'This is what I strive for, even if I stumble along the way' - that's really inspiring, may Allah bless and reward you for your efforts and striving for His sake, Ameen. i actually forgot about the angels / beings that praise the ones Allah has chosen. thank you for reminding me of that - you're so right, their praise and Allah's praise, of course, is far more important than anybody else :) i absolutely *love* sufism.
and, you have gems within your own writing. 'In uncovering our own soul, we inch closer to understanding Allah' - that's profound. Masha’Allah.
jazakallah khair for your words on serving my mother, it truly is so reassuring hearing that, given the whole situation and what i'm being told. it's incredibly comforting. alhamdulillah.
and thank you for all those examples. it reminds me of surah fatihah - 'guide us on the right path, the path of whom thou has bestowed thy blessings' - to follow in the righteous' footsteps. i'm definitely going to remember these and try and take inspiration from all of them - may Allah bless them abundantly, Ameen. it's clear that you are highly knowledgeable, thank you and jazakallah khair for sharing some of it with me to provide comfort.
Allahumma Ameen to your du'a and i pray the same for you, Ameen. may Allah reward you for all the knowledge you give out to everyone and i pray it becomes a great sadaqah jariyah for you long after you pass, Ameen.
MashaAllah, I am really amazed by your strength and resilience! That's a really difficult position to put in, thank you for sharing your experiences authentically. I know you said you feel like you're not being understood by the people around you, but you sharing your experiences is making someone else going through a similar situation feel seen and heard and understood. At least you are able to communicate your experiences profoundly in a way that someone else may find comfort in knowing that they are not alone in this experience. I definitely relate to holding on to hope to have a peaceful, loving household "one where you won't want to escape from, but one you'll want to escape to". May Allah grant us this blessing in this life and the next, Ameen!
this is so heartwarming to hear, you have no idea. i'm so glad that that's the case, alhamdulillah :) Allahumma Ameen, may we feel such stability, safety and peace in our homes, Ameen ♡ thank you for your comment, i appreciate it more than i can express in words ♡
You know what I see here in this post of yours - sincerity from a sincere heart.
:,( thank you so much. jazakallah khair. sobbing !
I cried reading this. Especially the part about how this life is a manifestation of la ilaaha illallah. I am also in awe at how you wrote about something so personal and difficult. May Allah swt make it easy for you. I hope I can learn from this and apply it in my own life with my own family problems.
oh sweetheart :’((( sending a lot of hugs. thank you so much for reading and leaving this comment. Ameen, and may Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ make it more easy for you, Ameen! ♡
Inshallah 🩷 ameen
It's crazy how in this day and age, divorce is still such a taboo topic to talk about with friends and family. What's crazy is that during the Prophets time (1400 years ago) it wasn't like this, and if you wanted a divorce you could just do it. Instead of waiting for things to get worse and worse all because you're afraid of what people will say (who cares?!). It's so sad because this affects the couple, as well as their kids.
IMO divorce is a simple thing (if done like how Allah describes in the Quran), but community considers it such an "unmentionable" disgrace. How many wives of the Prophet were divorcees?!
Sending lots of love your way, and I pray that you have the gentle and loving household you always wanted! ❤️
right !!!! thank you so much my love ♡ Allahumma Ameen and i pray the same for you too :)
May Allah make it easy for youu allahumma barik🤍
ameen, jazakallah khair :)
First of all, you’re so brave for deciding to open up and communicate your feelings with your dad. It’s not easy to tell someone about things that have been causing you discomfort, ESPECIALLY when you don’t know how their response will be. In this case, the response *wasnt* what you wanted to hear so ofcourse, it must be hard for you. Secondly , thank you for choosing to share this with us. There’s absolutely nothing wrong or weird with having divorced parents. Most of my friends have separated parents and all of them have different dynamics with their parents. And honestly, even if your parents are together, it doesn’t always mean it’s an ideal relationship/marriage!
I had a similar experience recently, where I felt misunderstood and overlooked, my wants/needs belittled. A wildly different scenario to yours, but I’m proud of you for communicating your feelings :) perhaps that’s what Allah wanted, to see how you would handle the response to that. This is probably a test, and He wants you to have faith and reliance in Him throughout this. Im praying that He makes it easy for you and that he gives your heart tranquility soon <3
thank you sm nuur :') your words mean more to me than i can express. but that's always the case with you :") and that's also so reassuring to hear, the experiences i've had in my life with muslims after i tell them my parents are divorced are so disheartening. i'm so glad that's not the case with the whole world. jazakallah khair for your kindness.
and ahhh, i'm so sorry to hear that. it really is upsetting, isn't it? :( if you feel comfortable enough, maybe you should also softly and respectfully speak up and communicate your feelings. sometimes, like in my case, it might not go the way you want but it definitely adds to your overall confidence and courage to stand up for yourself :)
it probably is a test #sigh. but then it's good bc it's a way of attaining nearness to Allah, alhamdulillah. Allahumma Ameen and i pray the same for you too, Ameen! ♡ sending lots of love. jazakallah khair for your comment :)
Jazzakullai khairan for this beautiful post! It is a fact that everyone has struggles even with the faith but it is difficult to come to terms with them when you yourself are drowning. Thank you for sharing such a personal problem and how you have beautifully been able to by Allah's Mercy attribute it to Him. I am honestly learning so much from you and I just want to say that your strength is remarkable Allahummah barik. Almighty Allah will make a way for you, His plans for us are greater than our greatest dreams for He is the best of Planners. May Allah SWT grant you ease in your affairs and relief to your burdens. Ameen.
wa iyyaki, thank you so much for this comment :') you're so sweet. alhamdulillah. it means *so* much.
Allahumma Ameen to your lovely du'a and i pray the same for you too, Ameen. thank you for reading ♡
(This is a bit late, but…) May Allah grant you the strength to get through this challenging time in your life, and may He grant barakat + ease into all your affairs امين 🤲
This is a really vulnerable post, and it absolutely takes a lot of strength to be able to share it, so I commend you for your bravery. Having to bear such unfairness is undoubtedly one to make our blood boil, but sometimes that unfairness—this obvious injustice—just won’t be acknowledged by the ones we think/know should be acknowledging it. To hold onto taqwa, to hold onto the principles of Islam in the face of such challenges, is truly like holding a piece of hot coal.
Your insights regarding how fighting against our nafs manifests in dealing with our ego, dealing with how we want others to respond to us—be with us, on our side—has me mind blown. It’s something I’m realizing I’ve been struggling with as well, and you put it into all the words I haven’t been able to tie together myself.
I love how you seek, and relate the names of Allah into your life. After reading your post, I’ve been trying to find ways to find the attribute of Al Basit in my own life; trying to find ways, making du’a to eradicate my nafs, as well.
Jazakillahu khairan for this post. Thank you so much for sharing, and again, I pray all goodness for you and for ease in your struggles 💜