I really felt every word of this :’) going through my recent situationship breakup rn, it hurts when you see so much goodness and potential in these guys then they act the complete opposite, or even worse. May Allah bless you immensely for your comforting and powerful words Ameen 🤍🤍
:( i'm so sorry to hear that. sending you so much love, may Allah ease your affairs. and honestly. sometimes i don't even think his actions hurt me more, it's the fact that i never expected it from him that hurt the most so i know how you feel. but there is so much growth that comes from it, it might just take a long (...long...) while for you to realise :)
and also, i've learnt that some people just aren't ready to receive your love and that's bc of their own fears or self-sabotaging because they're not used to it or whatever they have going on in their life - but it doesn't mean your love isn't worth anything. someone will be ready to feel and embrace your love and take that risk even when it feels so scary. Insha’Allah.
As I was reading, I was reminded of something I once heard
“Nostalgia doesn’t always reflect how the relationship truly was. It paints a prettier picture, making us long for what we had while conveniently blurring out the pain and struggles that came with it.”
It makes me question some memories I made with people have fallen out with and think, was it really that great, or is it my brain trying to paint it prettier
wow. that's so interesting. i think that's how i felt during the relationship itself, longing for the time when it was better and hoping that those days would come back, but allowing myself to be mistreated as a result of it and blurring out the struggles. thank you for that reflection :) ♡
this was so beautifully written and i can imagine how much it probably took to actually write and post it so thank you! sometimes people don’t deserve us, they only realise when it’s too late or sometimes they don’t realise at all. One day Insha’Allah, you will find your person, and they will you treat you with so much love and care <3
Wow, why do those who need someone like won't be destined to them.
Great , you published this . Awesome.
The other article you are about "being loved romantically," and this connects so well, like both being a back story for each other.
I can't say anything more than this: "If you believe and know Allah swt, who is 'Al-Adl' the just then you don't need to think of anything, what bad endings if Allah swt exists "
Forgive , Sabr , (We'll never know what's good is coming our way) i said it there in last article i say it again, may you find them for what your heart aches the most, inshaAllah.
omg it makes me so happy that you saw the connection between the being loved romantically post and this one !!!!!! i'm smiling sm, i'm so glad someone noticed yaaay, bc there definitely is a huge connection between this and that. they're sister posts. thank you so much :))))))
thank you for reading. and you're right. alhamdulillah. i'm going to try. jazakallah khair for this comment :)
Wow!!! This is beautifully written. You’re so skilled with words. Thanks for sharing your story. And I cannot tell you how it feels to feel seen. I can relate to almost every word. It was the hardest thing- continuing to love and miss someone you know isn’t good for you. The bad does not erase the good. It took me a few years to heal, but I’m finally at a place where I don’t even think about him or our life much anymore. I feel ease and contentment and peace . But I also feel sad . I miss being married, I miss having a life partner and someone to love so deeply and I feel lonely some days. I worry I’ll never find that person again. From time to time, I feel this pang of regret of maybe I should never have… what if I had stayed… but I already know the answers to that, and i know in the deepest part of my heart that I’d rather be alone and lonely and sad than have my entire peace and sanity shattered.
Thanks for being a safe space for me to share this.
I pray you find everything you want , I pray you find happiness and love in all the unexpected places.
thank you *so* much. oh my goodness. i can't imagine how worse it must feel for you after actually being MARRIED for real! i'm so sorry :( sending you so much love. i really relate to your words - feeling content but also missing them and the wonder of what could've been if you had stayed and then shaking yourself back into reality after remembering that you left for a very valid reason. so, so relatable. and it's so true - 'the bad doesn't erase the good.' i think ab the good all the time and then also think ab the bad and it's conflicting. i'm so glad i'm not alone in this feeling but also so sorry i'm not alone in it.
thank you so much for reading and sharing your story as well. i pray you find everything you want to, i pray you get something so much better as well, Ameen. sending you soooooo much love ♡ ♡ ♡
oh. my. word. currently holding back tears whilst at work.
this is so so beautiful, in the most heartbreaking way - you don’t deserve a struggle love AT ALL, you deserve someone who will pour into your cup in the exact same way you pour into theirs. i don’t know you but from what i do know, you’re such a beautiful soul. a beautiful soul who deserves beautiful love.
this experience doesn’t define you, it’s shaping you into the woman Allah had always destined for you to become - a woman of Allah, a woman of courage & a woman of unwavering faith. a woman who will, one day (إن شاء الله) look back at this whole experience & thank Allah with a heart full of contentment.
i’m so proud of you sis, thank you soooo much for sharing this with us. may Allah bless you with all that is khayr🥹💗💗💗
thank you so much :( this is so kind of you to say and means so much to me. you deserve even more and also seem like such a beautiful soul too :')
and yes, i think you're right. it definitely did force me to grow but i think that i'm happy i didn't let it change me in a bad way. jazakallah khair 🩷
thank you so much :') and thank you for reading!! Allahumma Ameen, i pray the same for you as well 🥹
goosebumps. the hair falling in the shower. the heart too kind for your own good. the reference to eternal sunshine of a spotless mind. the intricacies of memory we have. absolute chills sis
may Allah (swt) deal accordingly with those who are so careless with kind hearts and may Allah (swt) also guide them to be better. InshaAllah you find a balance in allowing the right people access to your kindness, make dua for the strength of your heart to be increased, for Allah to encase your softness with the strength of steel.
so glad you shared this, and so glad I had the honour of reading and you are in my duas 🩵🩵
yes, me too :( sometimes out of our love for someone or our desire to be with them and make it work, we cling onto all the good parts and throw away the bad that is quite literally in our face.
I just sat down and read the piece thoroughly but I don't understand. No, I do understand, but I can't feel the emotions in it. Heartbreak has always been this delicate something to me, I have never felt this 'heartbreak', and honestly, now? I do not wish to feel it but Allahuma Barik!
I loved the piece and I may not be able to feel the whole emotions but I felt the love in it. You loved him as soft and gentle as drops of water but undeniable as the depth of the ocean.
My dear, mashallah this piece is so heartfelt. Please donate the stuff he’s gifted you. Let the thief go.
I imagine most women growing up in America have experienced heartbreak and most women I know are trying to raise boys who don’t act like the idiot you have described. We want boy who grow into men to be
firm. Decisive. Principled. Empathetic.
But boys raised here, with no sense of responsibility “change their minds” a lot and kept swiping right or whatever. What are the signs of this kind of weak man? Who says the right thing and then bails when it’s time for marriage? You deserve so much better habibi
My baby girls are a decade or so from the marriage scene but I find this kind of narrative so important. Thank you.
thank you so much for reading and commenting :( maybe... i just struggle to still let them go just yet.
and yes it's really hard - even here in the UK there are soooooooo many similar stories that i've heard from muslim women going through the same thing of muslim men wanting to marry them, talking to them, not going to their father's immediately to do PROPER rishta proposals and then just backing out after they got them hooked by saying they're not ready for marriage, but then coming back and dipping back out to make them feel like they will be ready soon, just hold on a bit, just wait because he loves them and wants them, just not now! so many women are in need of protection, especially by their wali's who need to be told at the beginning. it makes me so angry. i wish i had known how important it was for me to have protection back then but i was so young (though it was all i wanted the entire time). i doubt i would've gotten this hurt if my dad was in the picture straight away. i don't let anyone talk to me now unless they're willing to put my parents in the know.
i'm glad most women you know are raising their boys properly. if i have boys in the future, i'm going to be doing a LOT of research on how to raise them with the characteristics you describe and i hope i have a husband who is like that too.
thank you so much :(
i pray your baby girls get amazing husbands who have qualities that resemble the Beloved Prophet ﷺ when their time finally comes, Allahumma Ameen. thank you again and jazakallah khair 🩷
I really felt every word of this :’) going through my recent situationship breakup rn, it hurts when you see so much goodness and potential in these guys then they act the complete opposite, or even worse. May Allah bless you immensely for your comforting and powerful words Ameen 🤍🤍
:( i'm so sorry to hear that. sending you so much love, may Allah ease your affairs. and honestly. sometimes i don't even think his actions hurt me more, it's the fact that i never expected it from him that hurt the most so i know how you feel. but there is so much growth that comes from it, it might just take a long (...long...) while for you to realise :)
and also, i've learnt that some people just aren't ready to receive your love and that's bc of their own fears or self-sabotaging because they're not used to it or whatever they have going on in their life - but it doesn't mean your love isn't worth anything. someone will be ready to feel and embrace your love and take that risk even when it feels so scary. Insha’Allah.
Allahumma Ameen ♡
First off, thank you so much for sharing this
As I was reading, I was reminded of something I once heard
“Nostalgia doesn’t always reflect how the relationship truly was. It paints a prettier picture, making us long for what we had while conveniently blurring out the pain and struggles that came with it.”
It makes me question some memories I made with people have fallen out with and think, was it really that great, or is it my brain trying to paint it prettier
thank you so much for reading! :)
wow. that's so interesting. i think that's how i felt during the relationship itself, longing for the time when it was better and hoping that those days would come back, but allowing myself to be mistreated as a result of it and blurring out the struggles. thank you for that reflection :) ♡
sending sm love 🩷
this was so beautifully written and i can imagine how much it probably took to actually write and post it so thank you! sometimes people don’t deserve us, they only realise when it’s too late or sometimes they don’t realise at all. One day Insha’Allah, you will find your person, and they will you treat you with so much love and care <3
thank you so much :( it really means so much to me, i can't even explain. Insha’Allah. i pray the same for you - may Allah make it so, Ameen ♡.
Inshallah, the care and concern you have sabrgirl is what you need reciprocated obviously. The best is yet to come!!
:,) thank you ♡ Insha’Allah
Wow, why do those who need someone like won't be destined to them.
Great , you published this . Awesome.
The other article you are about "being loved romantically," and this connects so well, like both being a back story for each other.
I can't say anything more than this: "If you believe and know Allah swt, who is 'Al-Adl' the just then you don't need to think of anything, what bad endings if Allah swt exists "
Forgive , Sabr , (We'll never know what's good is coming our way) i said it there in last article i say it again, may you find them for what your heart aches the most, inshaAllah.
omg it makes me so happy that you saw the connection between the being loved romantically post and this one !!!!!! i'm smiling sm, i'm so glad someone noticed yaaay, bc there definitely is a huge connection between this and that. they're sister posts. thank you so much :))))))
thank you for reading. and you're right. alhamdulillah. i'm going to try. jazakallah khair for this comment :)
Wow!!! This is beautifully written. You’re so skilled with words. Thanks for sharing your story. And I cannot tell you how it feels to feel seen. I can relate to almost every word. It was the hardest thing- continuing to love and miss someone you know isn’t good for you. The bad does not erase the good. It took me a few years to heal, but I’m finally at a place where I don’t even think about him or our life much anymore. I feel ease and contentment and peace . But I also feel sad . I miss being married, I miss having a life partner and someone to love so deeply and I feel lonely some days. I worry I’ll never find that person again. From time to time, I feel this pang of regret of maybe I should never have… what if I had stayed… but I already know the answers to that, and i know in the deepest part of my heart that I’d rather be alone and lonely and sad than have my entire peace and sanity shattered.
Thanks for being a safe space for me to share this.
I pray you find everything you want , I pray you find happiness and love in all the unexpected places.
thank you *so* much. oh my goodness. i can't imagine how worse it must feel for you after actually being MARRIED for real! i'm so sorry :( sending you so much love. i really relate to your words - feeling content but also missing them and the wonder of what could've been if you had stayed and then shaking yourself back into reality after remembering that you left for a very valid reason. so, so relatable. and it's so true - 'the bad doesn't erase the good.' i think ab the good all the time and then also think ab the bad and it's conflicting. i'm so glad i'm not alone in this feeling but also so sorry i'm not alone in it.
thank you so much for reading and sharing your story as well. i pray you find everything you want to, i pray you get something so much better as well, Ameen. sending you soooooo much love ♡ ♡ ♡
Girl, theres nothing mean about this. This is honest and real. Nothing you said can hurt him because you're just telling the truth.
oh. my. word. currently holding back tears whilst at work.
this is so so beautiful, in the most heartbreaking way - you don’t deserve a struggle love AT ALL, you deserve someone who will pour into your cup in the exact same way you pour into theirs. i don’t know you but from what i do know, you’re such a beautiful soul. a beautiful soul who deserves beautiful love.
this experience doesn’t define you, it’s shaping you into the woman Allah had always destined for you to become - a woman of Allah, a woman of courage & a woman of unwavering faith. a woman who will, one day (إن شاء الله) look back at this whole experience & thank Allah with a heart full of contentment.
i’m so proud of you sis, thank you soooo much for sharing this with us. may Allah bless you with all that is khayr🥹💗💗💗
thank you so much :( this is so kind of you to say and means so much to me. you deserve even more and also seem like such a beautiful soul too :')
and yes, i think you're right. it definitely did force me to grow but i think that i'm happy i didn't let it change me in a bad way. jazakallah khair 🩷
thank you so much :') and thank you for reading!! Allahumma Ameen, i pray the same for you as well 🥹
goosebumps. the hair falling in the shower. the heart too kind for your own good. the reference to eternal sunshine of a spotless mind. the intricacies of memory we have. absolute chills sis
may Allah (swt) deal accordingly with those who are so careless with kind hearts and may Allah (swt) also guide them to be better. InshaAllah you find a balance in allowing the right people access to your kindness, make dua for the strength of your heart to be increased, for Allah to encase your softness with the strength of steel.
so glad you shared this, and so glad I had the honour of reading and you are in my duas 🩵🩵
thank you so much :')
Allahumma Ameen. i will do, thank you so much 🩵🩷
jazakallah khair sis, thank you for reading. sending you so much love :')
sending you love back sis. barakAllah feek lovely x
Thank you for this. Jazzakullai Khayran.
😭♥️
This was so beautiful and relatable.
When I think back to my experience, I realize maybe I had a picture in my head that I failed to see things the way it was.
And yes the line, “I don’t miss you, I miss what could have been”
Thank you for writing ❤️
May Al-Wadud grant us love that is beautiful and lasting (Ameen)
thank you for reading :') ♡
yes, me too :( sometimes out of our love for someone or our desire to be with them and make it work, we cling onto all the good parts and throw away the bad that is quite literally in our face.
Allahumma Ameen 🩷
I just sat down and read the piece thoroughly but I don't understand. No, I do understand, but I can't feel the emotions in it. Heartbreak has always been this delicate something to me, I have never felt this 'heartbreak', and honestly, now? I do not wish to feel it but Allahuma Barik!
I loved the piece and I may not be able to feel the whole emotions but I felt the love in it. You loved him as soft and gentle as drops of water but undeniable as the depth of the ocean.
May Allah grant you a love more worthy! 🥺✨
i pray you NEVER feel it !!!! Ameen.
i really did. and if you read closely, you'll realise that the love is still slightly there underneath all the pain and anger :,(
Ameen. thank you so much :)
@Nila's heart.
Beautiful 🥹❤️
thank you so much ♡
Hayeee how much I can resonate with so many parts! Love indeed is weird and wouldn’t change the past as it’s makes us who we are
:') alhamdulillah
My dear, mashallah this piece is so heartfelt. Please donate the stuff he’s gifted you. Let the thief go.
I imagine most women growing up in America have experienced heartbreak and most women I know are trying to raise boys who don’t act like the idiot you have described. We want boy who grow into men to be
firm. Decisive. Principled. Empathetic.
But boys raised here, with no sense of responsibility “change their minds” a lot and kept swiping right or whatever. What are the signs of this kind of weak man? Who says the right thing and then bails when it’s time for marriage? You deserve so much better habibi
My baby girls are a decade or so from the marriage scene but I find this kind of narrative so important. Thank you.
thank you so much for reading and commenting :( maybe... i just struggle to still let them go just yet.
and yes it's really hard - even here in the UK there are soooooooo many similar stories that i've heard from muslim women going through the same thing of muslim men wanting to marry them, talking to them, not going to their father's immediately to do PROPER rishta proposals and then just backing out after they got them hooked by saying they're not ready for marriage, but then coming back and dipping back out to make them feel like they will be ready soon, just hold on a bit, just wait because he loves them and wants them, just not now! so many women are in need of protection, especially by their wali's who need to be told at the beginning. it makes me so angry. i wish i had known how important it was for me to have protection back then but i was so young (though it was all i wanted the entire time). i doubt i would've gotten this hurt if my dad was in the picture straight away. i don't let anyone talk to me now unless they're willing to put my parents in the know.
i'm glad most women you know are raising their boys properly. if i have boys in the future, i'm going to be doing a LOT of research on how to raise them with the characteristics you describe and i hope i have a husband who is like that too.
thank you so much :(
i pray your baby girls get amazing husbands who have qualities that resemble the Beloved Prophet ﷺ when their time finally comes, Allahumma Ameen. thank you again and jazakallah khair 🩷