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salam everybody!
it’s been a while :) i’ve been so busy since ramadan ended and i haven’t had much time to write. and, if i’m honest, i’ve felt quite hypocritical to write lately. ever since ramadan ended, i’ve been feeling the post-ramadan blues, the slump, the high gone and feeling so exhausted. plus the stress, as my finals are very soon, and i’m graduating in a few months Insha’Allah, adds to it all. it’s been quite hard and i’ve been beating myself up about it, being quite harsh on myself. but there was a realisation that made my iman rise up again.
we all know that life is all about ebbs and flows, low dips and high rises. sometimes it can be within the same day where it started well and ended badly—or the other way around. or sometimes, you can have a really good day, and the next day is really bad. one of my journal entries from last year reminds me of this, i took a picture of it because, despite my feelings, i saw the art and beauty in it:
however, iman is part of this too, and our iman isn’t always going to be high. i knew this, but even then, i was being so harsh and asking myself why i’ve been feeling like this, why i’m not doing better, how i could come out of ramadan like this. but it wasn’t until I came across the verse,
“and He found you lost and guided you” (93:8)
that I realised that there can be a beauty in this, too. ramadan is often called ‘the month of Mercy,’ for good reason. and i was having a conversation recently with one of my best friends about Allah’s Grace and Mercy.
“In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, Ever Merciful”.
Ar-Rahman and Ar-Raheem.
these two attributes always go hand in hand as the first verse of every surah of the Holy Qur’an except one. we were talking about a commentary on the Qur’an that describes how Ar-Rahman, the Gracious, is about the things that Allah provides for us without us even asking for it, earning it or deserving it. like food. like water. like the sun. like the morning and night. like family. like everything that was made before we were even born. which is why, in Surah Rahman, Allah talks about things that He gave to us— His Favours— which we didn’t even ask for. so, He bestows His Grace on us despite us not necessarily earning or deserving them. then, Ar-Raheem, the Merciful, is about rewarding us, forgiving us, because of the things that we do. like when we repent, when we ask for His help—He is Merciful and bestows His Mercy upon us1. and this is why ramadan is associated with being the month of Mercy because it’s a month full of doing and full of action to earn His Pleasure and Mercy which He gives to us, alhamdulillah.
after having this conversation and pondering over this, i realised that although the month of mercy is over, His Graciousness, is still ever present alongside His Mercy. it’s been present before any of us were even born. alhamdulillah, He bestows His favours both when we’re undeserving and deserving just because that’s how Perfect and Kind He is. and it’s why when I saw the verse,
“and He found you lost and guided you,”
it reminded me of His Grace. because when we have low iman, most times we’re not doing as much as we did when our iman was high— especially if it’s after ramadan (if we don’t continue our habits), as our iman usually is quite high during that month. but still, out of His Rahma, being Ar-Rahman, He still guides us to Him when we’re feeling low, when we’re feeling lost, when we are being hard on ourselves. it was realising this and then thanking Him for all the favours that He’s bestowed upon me without me even asking for it that ended up boosting my iman again and made me feel like i’m getting out of my slump and crash. Allah is not only Merciful but He is also incredibly Gracious. we are nothing without Him, not even dust. and yet, He still bestows both His Grace and Mercy upon us. not just during ramadan but for all time. and He reminds us of this at the beginning of every single chapter of the Holy Qur’an, except surah taubah.
this does not mean allow yourself to sit in a low iman and do nothing about it. rather, it’s about realising that we’re not always going to have a high iman and sometimes, when you feel helpless, you may not know what to do or how to get it up. but when you feel like this, never lose sight of Allah and never forget who He is. reflect on His attributes and turn to Him always. try the best that you can and don’t give up. keep going, and you will taste both His Grace and Mercy. because maybe it’s the low dips in our faith that allow us to taste the pleasure of reuniting with Him over and over again. as long as you never forget Him and who He is: the Most Gracious, Ever Merciful.
Attribute of the Month, Al Maalik ul Mulk (The Master of the Kingdom)
we don’t own this world or everyone/thing that we see around us. it all belongs to Allah. we should all be praying for the state of the world because there is so much disorder happening in Allah’s Kingdom right now, and only He knows how this havoc and war is going to escalate— or how soon it will escalate, shall I say.
please continue praying for Palestine, for Iran, for Yemen, for the entire ummah and for the entire state of the world. pray that these Western world leaders stop creating such disorder in Allah’s Kingdom and that they come to their senses and realise they will one day be held accountable for it all. I pray that we, our families, friends, and future generations will be saved in both this life and the next.
Grab a Blessing:
Allahumma imla' qalbee bihubbik x3
(Oh Allah fill my heart with your love)
yaa muqallibal quloob thabbit qalbee 'alaa deenik
(O Turner of the hearts! keep my heart firm in your religion)
jazakallah for reading and allowing me to be vulnerable! i feel so afraid of putting this out lest people think badly of me, especially as someone that has an islamic platform that intends to encourage others. but. i felt like being honest on how i’ve been feeling lately— there’s nothing else i can write about right now that feels authentic to me. thank you for your presence and your time :’)
please keep my final assignments and academic success in your prayers. may Allah fulfil all your heart’s desires and grant you eternal sunshine! lots of love,
— SabrGirl ♡
this is from a commentary on Surah Fatihah. here is the reference: ‘Mirza Bashiruddin Mahmud Ahmad, The Holy Quran with English Translation and Commentary Volume: 1, ISLAM INTERNATIONAL PUBLICATIONS LIMITED, (1988)’.
Salam, great article! One small thing i noticed, you misspelled the dua about asking Allah to keep ones heart guided, as you wrote mugallibal, not muqallibal. Anyways, mashaAllah, may Allah SWT keep you steadfast
I think we all do feel like this after Ramadan ends, you’re not the only one for sure 😩 thanks for being honest about it! Like you said, it’s the lows that let us reach the highs eventually. All the best with your exams as well! May allah grant us success in this world and the hereafter :)