Hahahhaa, you do the wim hufflepuff breathing too! A very peculiar man he is. I haven't tried his method in a long time.
I must say, this was very maturely written. A standing ovation 👏.
If it was me, I would have slipped in some slurs. I've got lots to learn! Especially that you still adressed the guy as a brother in faith. Whoever he is, may God guide him.
I didn't know about the house of grief and some of the other stories you mentioned. Thank you so much for an informative response piece to the victim blamers that goes well beyond sticking a most respectful middle finger. I did say I would slip in slurs if I was you lol.
Educating the uneducated is key. Like if anyone reads surah Noor and surah Ahzab, they will realize how God literally spelled out, SPELLED OUT, akhlaq and moral etiquette. Like ask permission before entering a home; don't enter if nobody is home; if you are told to leave, leave (rejection hello hello); lower your gaze (i.e., don't gawk and meddle into ppl's affairs, even as they give you permission to enter their homes); don't cause harm to the prophet pbuh by overstaying your welcome; don't talk about marrying any of the prophet pbuh's wives after he passes away...so on and so forth.
The above are just some examples gathered from verses 27-30 from surah Noor and verse 53 from surah Ahzab. Allah swt knew the jaahiliyyah culture that the sahaba were transitioning from, and so He taught them. Not everyone was the same in upbringing and akhlaq. Some sahaba didn't need to be taught—they were already of refined charachter, even before Islam. Other sahaba still needed refinement and so God spelled it out. Not just for them, but for all men (and women) till the end of times. I did not mention amy of the verses addressing women since the topic here is about educating/policing men and victim-blaming.
Anyways. You've displayed your name plenty—sabr. Stay safe. Get rest. The haterd will hate. And the idiots will remain stupid. Their egos will prevent them from learning and rectifying their ways. May Allah swt guide us all and help us act as ants, as in a proper ummah and cohesive colony.
Thank you for your vulnerability. While your main audience may be women, even guys like me benefit. Again, that alone is enough to shut down any "write only in women-only spaces" nonsense. If women didn't share, we wouldn't have inherited and received the knowledge and Islam we know today.
Also, side note. About female poets. I read somewhere that the prophet pbuh's poet, Hassan bin Thaabit, got his craft critiqued by female poets. This shows there was dialogue at the very least, and so much more. If I recall correctly, that female poet was Khansaa radiyallahu anha. In fact, she would spit bars and prophet pbuh would praise her poetry.
Bye bye silencers. Go writhe behind your screens, or have some brains and sincerity and wisen up. We will welcome you with open arms if you come with an open heart—minds don't need opening; it is the hearts that are needing of noor and expansion.
(Let me shut up before I say more nonsense (I'm offloading steam onto these poor folk 😭)).
LOOOOL not wim hufflepuff. that's hilarious. i recently discovered his breathing technique and i almost died the first few times but i'm happy to say i can now hold my breath for 1 min 30 seconds 😁 he really is peculiar but i love it. you should get back into it
and thank you so much! hahahaha, trust me, the rage is there. i've just learnt to alchemise it into something like this (while also saving uncontainable rage for my journal)
i didn't know about them either until i researched! it was a whole project for this week for me, to learn about the emotional, brave and vulnerable women of the Prophet ﷺ 's time. thank you for reading :)
and thank you for this mini tafsir on surah noor and ahzab, it's so true. the etiquette literally could not be clearer. i think there's a lesson here to not just read the qur'an but to actively study it to LIVE by it. being muslim by name isn't enough. we need to all embody that akhlaq - that is how we will move forward as an ummah. especially in this internet age. it's only going to get worse and/or harder. and i also didn't know that some sahabah were already of refined character while others needed to learn, so i learnt something too! thank you for that.
and yay!!!!! i'm so glad you benefit too!!!!! my blog is open to all :)
YES. i was actually researching al-khansaa (ra) too and even included her in the original draft of this post but it was actually getting WAY too long and had to delete about 2 women - her and the story of barirah and mughith. but honestly, the point is, all these stories of the people of early islam, the companions of the prophet ﷺ, PROVE that all this extra strictness and fake rules regarding men and women is just an innovation. just follow the boundaries set by Allah and we're GOOD. that's IT !!!!!! goodness gracious.
let me stop too before i also continue offloading steam LOL. thank you for reading and leaving this kind comment, jazakallah khair x100. and thank you for your constant support :)
Here's a hadith that speaks prcisely to this idea, where the prophet pbuh said to the sahaba that the best among you in jaahiliyyah (character, honor, etc) are the best among you after Islam if you understand (and obv act) upon the deen.
The link is in arabic with explanation. Not sure if u speak arabic, but if u dont, chatgpt does a pretty decent job i find.
i put it into chatgpt and wow, what a beautiful hadith. i love that. thank you for sharing. let me copy and paste what chat said to me after translating (i didn't even ask!)
🔹 Explanation & Key Lessons:
1. True Honour = Taqwa (God-consciousness):
The Prophet ﷺ first points to the real measure of nobility: closeness to Allah, not lineage, wealth, or fame.
2. Prophet Yusuf's Unique Honour:
The Prophet ﷺ then names Yusuf (as) as the most honourable by lineage — a Prophet, son of a Prophet, grandson of a Prophet, and great-grandson of Khalilullah (the friend of Allah, Ibrahim).
3. People’s Roots Matter — but Only With Knowledge:
When the companions ask about honour in tribal lineage, the Prophet ﷺ responds wisely — saying that people are like mines: just as some metals are precious and others are not, people too vary in their nature and potential.
4. Best of Both Worlds:
Those who were noble and good before Islam can remain so after accepting Islam, but only if they gain understanding of the religion (fiqh).
5. Lineage Isn’t Enough:
Honour in ancestry is respected — but it's taqwa, religious knowledge, and character that make someone truly noble.
I've been seeing posts going around about this but had no idea what it was actually about until now. I'm sorry this happened to you. I'd also like to add how sick and tired I am of women being blamed constantly for a mans behaviour. Not only doing strangers on the internet do it, but I've been blamed for a mans behaviour by my own family. Why is the woman always to blame? I'm glad you're sharing your experiences with this guy because women need to be aware. And it's okay to be vulnerable online, people don't always want to see the polished lives that people usually share about themselves.
ugh. i'm sorry to hear that your family has blamed you :( it's truly so unfortunate. no matter how many times we stand up for ourselves, it seems like the narrative just doesn't change. the woman is always at fault. may Allah make it easy.
This piece takes a lot of courage - to be able to unflinchingly find your voice after not only a harrowing experience but carrying the weight of being blamed for it as well.
The most powerful thing a person can do is say no: no to being silent, no to accepting blame, no to receding into the shadow and living within a fearful shade.
If we learn anything from the great martyrs of the past, it is that no can never be silenced. Its deafening cry continues to reverberate - often for centuries and millennia - even after the lips that utter then cease to speak.
"Yes" is only for what is granted by God. No is only ever what you truly own.
thank you so much! it means a lot coming from you. thank you for your constant and endless support, i really do appreciate it and i'm sure many other women on this platform do as well. thank you for encouraging me to use my voice. may Allah reward you.
and subhanallah, that final sentence is BEYOND powerful - '"Yes" is only for what is granted by God. No is only ever what you truly own.' WOW. thank you for that !!!! that's going to stay with me forever!!!
Absolutely destroyed any chance of arguement. It should have been a clear cut situation from the start but idk seems like everyone wants to disagree with something these days. I especially liked the part on suppressing vulnerability leading to women being kept in these toxic and sometimes dangerous situations because they're afraid to speak up. This is all a product of the old oppressive systems meant to keep women to the household and deny any other freedom.
thank you so much :) and right… as i was writing this, it truly felt ridiculous. like i was explaining something so basic that doesn’t even need to be said. alas, i hope that putting it into perspective like this is enough to change their mindset. otherwise, ima just leave them to it.
and thank you :) it really is part of these old systems and it’s infuriating.
I see your suffering: I wrote this down: Yes it was really quick: I'd rather be quick than perfect because there's no such thing as perfection for me at least: This Stalking brings up a Huge Misunderstood part of the Internet that Most People who are casual users Dont get and Boomers and Zoomers can laugh off: They dont notice the people we have not longer on this earth because of Goverments and Bullies doing this: to US: and Software people who can HELP maybe do not understand this: This will be something to unpack so let me know if this is too much: I can do this not so publically:
Your vulnerability and the journey with it has really felt very personal to me as well,
It has helped me deal with my fears, fear of opening up, fear of finding and expressing my voice, fear of being blamed for it, fear of being judged or manipulated, using it,
I remember reading somewhere that voice is actually associated with our beginning, with our creation,
How Allah SWT taught Adam A.S names of all things - He SWT gave him words,
Through words we form stories about ourselves and the world, through stories we understand ourselves and the world, to loose our voice is to loose ourselves,
To silence our words is to silence the spark of life in us,
Thankyou for helping me trusting my voice and finding the courage to be unapologetically, fiercely myself ♥️
subhanallah :) this is so beautiful. i’m so glad !!! keep opening up and expressing your voice. it deserves to be heard. it should be heard.
and wow, i never actually thought of it like that before. subhanallah. ‘to lose our voice is to lose ourselves, to silence our words is to silence the spark of life in us’ - WOW !!!!!!!!! my goodness, that’s powerful. and so beautiful.
i’m proud of you. absolutely keep being unapologetically yourself. i think ( if i remember this correctly) you commenting a note saying you deleted a poem out of fear - i really hope you republish it again, if it makes you feel comfortable :)
Girl, I'm so so proud of you for writing this!! You absolutely nailed this piece by highlighting about early muslim women. The explanation is amazing. You wrote it with so much grace and maturity, i can't even articulate in words.
And as usual, they love to blame women in absolutely anything and everything, by associating and mixing culture and their rigid mindset in the name of religion to suppress women.
May Allah bless you ❤✨ More power to you 💕 Allahumma barik!
Barakallahu Feeki! A very detailed and wonderful response to everyone criticizing.
I really love the stories of the sahabiyaat! I think what you did with going back to the seerah to derive lessons is amazing. We need more of this. So the ignorant can really shut up.
I need some of your brains lol
Allahumma Barik!
Also this part is so true:
“in most cases, people who share their stories and emotions through their writing do so because they were not heard or listened to in real life. do not take away this space for women and make them feel like they cannot be heard anywhere. women’s voices are important.”
Absolutely loved everything about this! Personally, I've loved all your posts and have related to so many of them. I learned so much from this one as well. Thank you for putting in the time to do all the research and to have such a dignified response to all the naysayers out there. Allahumma barik sister!
Hahahhaa, you do the wim hufflepuff breathing too! A very peculiar man he is. I haven't tried his method in a long time.
I must say, this was very maturely written. A standing ovation 👏.
If it was me, I would have slipped in some slurs. I've got lots to learn! Especially that you still adressed the guy as a brother in faith. Whoever he is, may God guide him.
I didn't know about the house of grief and some of the other stories you mentioned. Thank you so much for an informative response piece to the victim blamers that goes well beyond sticking a most respectful middle finger. I did say I would slip in slurs if I was you lol.
Educating the uneducated is key. Like if anyone reads surah Noor and surah Ahzab, they will realize how God literally spelled out, SPELLED OUT, akhlaq and moral etiquette. Like ask permission before entering a home; don't enter if nobody is home; if you are told to leave, leave (rejection hello hello); lower your gaze (i.e., don't gawk and meddle into ppl's affairs, even as they give you permission to enter their homes); don't cause harm to the prophet pbuh by overstaying your welcome; don't talk about marrying any of the prophet pbuh's wives after he passes away...so on and so forth.
The above are just some examples gathered from verses 27-30 from surah Noor and verse 53 from surah Ahzab. Allah swt knew the jaahiliyyah culture that the sahaba were transitioning from, and so He taught them. Not everyone was the same in upbringing and akhlaq. Some sahaba didn't need to be taught—they were already of refined charachter, even before Islam. Other sahaba still needed refinement and so God spelled it out. Not just for them, but for all men (and women) till the end of times. I did not mention amy of the verses addressing women since the topic here is about educating/policing men and victim-blaming.
Anyways. You've displayed your name plenty—sabr. Stay safe. Get rest. The haterd will hate. And the idiots will remain stupid. Their egos will prevent them from learning and rectifying their ways. May Allah swt guide us all and help us act as ants, as in a proper ummah and cohesive colony.
Thank you for your vulnerability. While your main audience may be women, even guys like me benefit. Again, that alone is enough to shut down any "write only in women-only spaces" nonsense. If women didn't share, we wouldn't have inherited and received the knowledge and Islam we know today.
Also, side note. About female poets. I read somewhere that the prophet pbuh's poet, Hassan bin Thaabit, got his craft critiqued by female poets. This shows there was dialogue at the very least, and so much more. If I recall correctly, that female poet was Khansaa radiyallahu anha. In fact, she would spit bars and prophet pbuh would praise her poetry.
Bye bye silencers. Go writhe behind your screens, or have some brains and sincerity and wisen up. We will welcome you with open arms if you come with an open heart—minds don't need opening; it is the hearts that are needing of noor and expansion.
(Let me shut up before I say more nonsense (I'm offloading steam onto these poor folk 😭)).
LOOOOL not wim hufflepuff. that's hilarious. i recently discovered his breathing technique and i almost died the first few times but i'm happy to say i can now hold my breath for 1 min 30 seconds 😁 he really is peculiar but i love it. you should get back into it
and thank you so much! hahahaha, trust me, the rage is there. i've just learnt to alchemise it into something like this (while also saving uncontainable rage for my journal)
i didn't know about them either until i researched! it was a whole project for this week for me, to learn about the emotional, brave and vulnerable women of the Prophet ﷺ 's time. thank you for reading :)
and thank you for this mini tafsir on surah noor and ahzab, it's so true. the etiquette literally could not be clearer. i think there's a lesson here to not just read the qur'an but to actively study it to LIVE by it. being muslim by name isn't enough. we need to all embody that akhlaq - that is how we will move forward as an ummah. especially in this internet age. it's only going to get worse and/or harder. and i also didn't know that some sahabah were already of refined character while others needed to learn, so i learnt something too! thank you for that.
and yay!!!!! i'm so glad you benefit too!!!!! my blog is open to all :)
YES. i was actually researching al-khansaa (ra) too and even included her in the original draft of this post but it was actually getting WAY too long and had to delete about 2 women - her and the story of barirah and mughith. but honestly, the point is, all these stories of the people of early islam, the companions of the prophet ﷺ, PROVE that all this extra strictness and fake rules regarding men and women is just an innovation. just follow the boundaries set by Allah and we're GOOD. that's IT !!!!!! goodness gracious.
let me stop too before i also continue offloading steam LOL. thank you for reading and leaving this kind comment, jazakallah khair x100. and thank you for your constant support :)
Re: refined sahabas
Here's a hadith that speaks prcisely to this idea, where the prophet pbuh said to the sahaba that the best among you in jaahiliyyah (character, honor, etc) are the best among you after Islam if you understand (and obv act) upon the deen.
The link is in arabic with explanation. Not sure if u speak arabic, but if u dont, chatgpt does a pretty decent job i find.
https://dorar.net/hadith/sharh/16229
i put it into chatgpt and wow, what a beautiful hadith. i love that. thank you for sharing. let me copy and paste what chat said to me after translating (i didn't even ask!)
🔹 Explanation & Key Lessons:
1. True Honour = Taqwa (God-consciousness):
The Prophet ﷺ first points to the real measure of nobility: closeness to Allah, not lineage, wealth, or fame.
2. Prophet Yusuf's Unique Honour:
The Prophet ﷺ then names Yusuf (as) as the most honourable by lineage — a Prophet, son of a Prophet, grandson of a Prophet, and great-grandson of Khalilullah (the friend of Allah, Ibrahim).
3. People’s Roots Matter — but Only With Knowledge:
When the companions ask about honour in tribal lineage, the Prophet ﷺ responds wisely — saying that people are like mines: just as some metals are precious and others are not, people too vary in their nature and potential.
4. Best of Both Worlds:
Those who were noble and good before Islam can remain so after accepting Islam, but only if they gain understanding of the religion (fiqh).
5. Lineage Isn’t Enough:
Honour in ancestry is respected — but it's taqwa, religious knowledge, and character that make someone truly noble.
I've been seeing posts going around about this but had no idea what it was actually about until now. I'm sorry this happened to you. I'd also like to add how sick and tired I am of women being blamed constantly for a mans behaviour. Not only doing strangers on the internet do it, but I've been blamed for a mans behaviour by my own family. Why is the woman always to blame? I'm glad you're sharing your experiences with this guy because women need to be aware. And it's okay to be vulnerable online, people don't always want to see the polished lives that people usually share about themselves.
ugh. i'm sorry to hear that your family has blamed you :( it's truly so unfortunate. no matter how many times we stand up for ourselves, it seems like the narrative just doesn't change. the woman is always at fault. may Allah make it easy.
thank you for reading :)
Dr Hajar Tukur said in this note: ‘you don’t owe anyone your time, replies, or attention. Being polite doesn’t mean being available.’
This piece takes a lot of courage - to be able to unflinchingly find your voice after not only a harrowing experience but carrying the weight of being blamed for it as well.
The most powerful thing a person can do is say no: no to being silent, no to accepting blame, no to receding into the shadow and living within a fearful shade.
If we learn anything from the great martyrs of the past, it is that no can never be silenced. Its deafening cry continues to reverberate - often for centuries and millennia - even after the lips that utter then cease to speak.
"Yes" is only for what is granted by God. No is only ever what you truly own.
thank you so much! it means a lot coming from you. thank you for your constant and endless support, i really do appreciate it and i'm sure many other women on this platform do as well. thank you for encouraging me to use my voice. may Allah reward you.
and subhanallah, that final sentence is BEYOND powerful - '"Yes" is only for what is granted by God. No is only ever what you truly own.' WOW. thank you for that !!!! that's going to stay with me forever!!!
Absolutely destroyed any chance of arguement. It should have been a clear cut situation from the start but idk seems like everyone wants to disagree with something these days. I especially liked the part on suppressing vulnerability leading to women being kept in these toxic and sometimes dangerous situations because they're afraid to speak up. This is all a product of the old oppressive systems meant to keep women to the household and deny any other freedom.
thank you so much :) and right… as i was writing this, it truly felt ridiculous. like i was explaining something so basic that doesn’t even need to be said. alas, i hope that putting it into perspective like this is enough to change their mindset. otherwise, ima just leave them to it.
and thank you :) it really is part of these old systems and it’s infuriating.
I see your suffering: I wrote this down: Yes it was really quick: I'd rather be quick than perfect because there's no such thing as perfection for me at least: This Stalking brings up a Huge Misunderstood part of the Internet that Most People who are casual users Dont get and Boomers and Zoomers can laugh off: They dont notice the people we have not longer on this earth because of Goverments and Bullies doing this: to US: and Software people who can HELP maybe do not understand this: This will be something to unpack so let me know if this is too much: I can do this not so publically:
Yess !! It’s time to double down on on our vulnerable stories and not retract. I am happy to hear it’s not gong to slow you down sister 🤎
thank you :) and thank you again for your advice and wisdom, jazakallah khair 🩷
Guys, go and give my girl a standing ovation for her courage, bravery and research!
thank you so much!
I read it. I read it. I read it. I understand your point. You covered up practically every point. Go girl..👍👍👍
thank God. alhamdulillah
Beautiful!
thank you :)
Your vulnerability and the journey with it has really felt very personal to me as well,
It has helped me deal with my fears, fear of opening up, fear of finding and expressing my voice, fear of being blamed for it, fear of being judged or manipulated, using it,
I remember reading somewhere that voice is actually associated with our beginning, with our creation,
How Allah SWT taught Adam A.S names of all things - He SWT gave him words,
Through words we form stories about ourselves and the world, through stories we understand ourselves and the world, to loose our voice is to loose ourselves,
To silence our words is to silence the spark of life in us,
Thankyou for helping me trusting my voice and finding the courage to be unapologetically, fiercely myself ♥️
-still learning though :)
subhanallah :) this is so beautiful. i’m so glad !!! keep opening up and expressing your voice. it deserves to be heard. it should be heard.
and wow, i never actually thought of it like that before. subhanallah. ‘to lose our voice is to lose ourselves, to silence our words is to silence the spark of life in us’ - WOW !!!!!!!!! my goodness, that’s powerful. and so beautiful.
i’m proud of you. absolutely keep being unapologetically yourself. i think ( if i remember this correctly) you commenting a note saying you deleted a poem out of fear - i really hope you republish it again, if it makes you feel comfortable :)
Girl, I'm so so proud of you for writing this!! You absolutely nailed this piece by highlighting about early muslim women. The explanation is amazing. You wrote it with so much grace and maturity, i can't even articulate in words.
And as usual, they love to blame women in absolutely anything and everything, by associating and mixing culture and their rigid mindset in the name of religion to suppress women.
May Allah bless you ❤✨ More power to you 💕 Allahumma barik!
🥺🥺🥺 thank you so much. i really appreciate it. it means a lot to me! ♡
and, literally. it's ridiculous. it's sad this even has to be said. but alhamdulillah.
may Allah bless you too, sister. sending you lots of love 🩷
Girl, I’m speechless!
Barakallahu Feeki! A very detailed and wonderful response to everyone criticizing.
I really love the stories of the sahabiyaat! I think what you did with going back to the seerah to derive lessons is amazing. We need more of this. So the ignorant can really shut up.
I need some of your brains lol
Allahumma Barik!
Also this part is so true:
“in most cases, people who share their stories and emotions through their writing do so because they were not heard or listened to in real life. do not take away this space for women and make them feel like they cannot be heard anywhere. women’s voices are important.”
Okay I’ll stop here 😅
I can keep going on about so many things here.
🥹🥹🥹🥹
thank you so much, and thank you for reading :) i'm so, soooo happy to hear that you enjoyed this read. sending you lots of love sis ♡
Absolutely loved everything about this! Personally, I've loved all your posts and have related to so many of them. I learned so much from this one as well. Thank you for putting in the time to do all the research and to have such a dignified response to all the naysayers out there. Allahumma barik sister!
yay !!! :) i'm so happy to hear that. thank you for reading :) sending lots of love
wow ur truly the cool main character<3 Allahuma barik🩷🩷
my fav part is how u stayed true to urself and didn’t change ur opinion because of the haters🥹💖💖
u have proven to them that you are right:) (cuz ur that smart girl)
bless ur kind soul:D❤️
thank you so much !!!! 🩷
you're literally the sweetest soul. may Allah bless you ♡
Thank you for this piece 🥹 the voice we needed in this community fr!! May you prosper further in your work Ameen 🫶🏻