This One Attribute Changed My Life

it's me again !!

Growing up, I used to rely on the creation. Whenever I would feel sad, I would turn to the people in my life, to my friends to help me, to talk to me, to be there for me. When they wouldn’t, I would start to feel resentment towards them out of my own hurting.

“I needed you,” I would think to myself. “Why weren’t you there for me?”

It was as if whenever I needed help, the people in my life were all busy and disappeared. Or they just wouldn’t say the right thing that I needed to hear.

I would text one. I could call another. No reply. It was always when I needed someone to talk to that they would all vanish.

I used to blame it on a lot of things: I don’t have a big circle of friends which means there’ll be less of them to be there for me. Or They’re just busy. Or I would turn it to myself and start to feel insecure about myself. Am I just too needy? Do they not like it or just don’t know what to do?

Until I came across a podcast by the wonderful Dr Haifaa Younis and she beautifully said:

'If I ask you who is Allah, what will you tell me? You will tell me Ar-Razzaq? Really? Is he really? Then why do you call somebody else when you need something?'

I had to pause the podcast at this moment. It was at hearing this that I realised this whole time, for most of my life, Allah has deliberately been leaving me with no one to call on so that I can turn to Him. So that I can realise that only He is the one that will provide for me, will take care of me, will give me the comfort I’ve been craving. That I should go to Him first and call upon Him, invoke him in this beautiful name of His and truly believe that He will be the One that will be there for me over everybody else. Because He is the only One that can and will and is.

So now, whenever I’m sad/anxious/angry/need someone to talk to, I like to go straight to Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ and pray, pour my heart out to Him, tell Him that I need Him and know and believe that He will provide for me — because He is Ar-Razzaq, the Provider.

Funnily enough, now is when I have the friends I’ve been looking for my whole life! I found them two and a half years ago and I don’t even need to tell them that I’m upset when I am. They just take one look at me and automatically know that something’s up. The difference is that now I understand that Ar-Razzaq has given me these beautiful friends. That the help they give me, it’s coming straight from Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ because I have asked Him for help first, have gone to Him first. And now, my friendships with these people and everybody in my life are more than just people to rely on, they’re genuine friends I love that Allah has graciously given me.

It reminds me of something my mother said recently:

‘Friend is a very strong word. F R I E N D. The only Friend you have is Allah — because when your friend helps you with something, it’s actually Allah giving you that help’
— SabrGirl’s Mother

May Allah guide us all to understand Him better and know and believe in who He truly is, Ameen.

JazakAllah for reading!
— SabrGirl ♡

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Grab a Blessing:

• astagfirullah x3 (I seek forgiveness from God)

• subhanallah x3 (Glory be to Allah)

• haasbi-Allah x3 (Allah is sufficient for me)

  

  random pic dump from this morning <3 (only to inspire)

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p.s: I just wanted to ask you all if you could keep me in your prayers :,) I suffer from a chronic illness and this past week I have been in inexplicable pain and bedridden for most of last week, I don’t usually mention these things but I could really use some prayers as it’s really getting unbearable. Jazakallah Khair ♡.

I was able to properly get out of bed today though, alhamdulillah :’) I was able to cook breakfast and pray without too much pain and even send out this blog post! These little things make me so happy as it’s not everyday I can easily do them :) Have a great day/night!