the cure Allah handed me for my anxiety
story time...
anxiety disorder is something i’ve struggled with my entire life, since I was 8. it was pretty severe my entire teenage years and progressively got worse as I got older and older. I felt so lost in life, not knowing if I would ever get better. the anxiety attacks would feel like the worst thing in the world. I would also pray and pray and pray for my anxiety to go away to what seemed like no avail.
I have this little thing I love to do — whenever I’m feeling upset, anxious and need advice from Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ, I go to my Qur’an (with wudhu, of course) with English translation and go with the intention that i’m opening it to get advice from Him. so, whenever I had my anxiety attacks or I was in overwhelming fear and needed Allah, I would go to the Qur’an and open it at random.
the first time I opened it for my anxiety, I opened it perfectly at the beginning of chapter 26: Ash-Shu`ara’.
now, this is a chapter that follows Prophets Musa, Ibrahim, Nuh, Hud, Salih, Lut and Shu’aib (AS). I began to read the full thing in translation— it started with Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ sending Musa (AS) on his mission, and Musa (AS) says:
My Lord, I fear that they will treat me as a liar; And my breast is straitened and my tongue is not fluent; therefore, send word to Aaron. And they have a charge against me, so I fear that they may kill me'. God said, "Not so, go then, both of you, with Our Signs; We are with you and We hear". (26:13-16).
then, after relating the story of Musa (AS), the chapter continues with Ibrahim (AS) and when he asks his people why they worship idols instead of Allah, he says to them:
it is He Who guides me; And Who gives me food and gives me drink; And when I am ill, it is He Who restores me to health; And Who will cause me to die, and then bring me to life again And Who, I hope, will forgive me my faults on the Day of Judgement (26:79-83)
then Prophet Nuh (AS) warned his people that a great tragedy was going to come and can only be saved if they believe in Allah. but the disbelievers said ‘If thou desist not, O Noah, thou shalt surely be one of those who are stoned.’ (26:117). And Nuh said to Allah:
'My Lord, my people have treated me as a liar. Therefore judge Thou decisively between me and them; and save me and the believers that are with me' (26: 118-20)
and a similar thing occurs with the rest of the Prophets in this chapter. when I read this the first time while feeling anxious, I was thinking… this is a really nice chapter and story of the Prophets and what happened in their life. but… this doesn’t relate to my anxiety. so, I closed the Qur’an again and opened another page at random but that didn’t relate to me even more. I put down the Qur’an and continued with my day.
I still felt anxious in life and the next time I went to the Qur’an, I said, ‘please Allah, give me a sign or advice for me to feel better with Your words’. I opened it at random and the Qur’an opened perfectly on Surah Ash-Shu`ara again! I read it again and still didn’t understand how this relates to my anxiety. and again and again and again I would feel anxious or i’d have anxiety attacks or I’d be in fear and I’d go to the Qur’an and open it randomly and get this same chapter. I even began to close my eyes and open it to make sure I definitely am not looking at all and still I would repeatedly get the same chapter to the point where, may God forgive me, I would be like ugh. WHY? please give me something that helps. yet no matter what, I would get chapter 26. one day I said fine, let me read this chapter properly again. and so I did. and I read it attentively.
and I realised what Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ was trying to tell me.
Prophet Musa (AS) was scared. he said My Lord, I fear that they will treat me as a liar and will kill me — so much so that despite being a Messenger of God, he still wanted Allah to send his brother because he felt he wasn’t fit or right for the job and was scared to die. yet, Allah still helped Musa (AS) and his followers escape from Pharaoh in the night and parted the entire sea for him. I bet Musa (AS) did not see that one coming. all he knew was that Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ was there. he was scared but Allah showed up for him, guided him every step of the way and saved him completely in the end— better than Musa could have ever imagined.
Ibrahim (AS)’s words show a beautiful firm conviction in Allah’s powers and Allah says that one day these same idol worshippers will say ‘now we have no intercessors, Nor any loving friend. Would that there were for us a return to the world, that we might be among the believers!’ (26: 101-03). here, the message is to trust Allah because maybe the help won’t come immediately, at this very second, but indeed, it will come.
Nuh (AS) and his people were also saved in the ark while everyone else drowned. Salih, Lut and Shu’aib (AS) and their people were all saved by Allah in their own trials too.
the message I failed to see here was that Allah is asking me to trust Him through the stories of the Prophets. that even a Prophet was scared but Allah showed him that he doesn’t have to be, that he can put his trust in Him and He will make it all okay. the Prophet’s just need to do their part and Allah will do His. and with every single Prophet in this chapter, Allah saved them all. they didn’t know how Allah was going to save them or when. some were frightened, some had full faith. like Musa and Ibrahim (AS). nonetheless, this chapter finally opened my eyes. Allah kept giving me this chapter when I was anxious because He was telling me that He is there for me. He was telling me that I no longer need to stay up anxious in the night and panic. I can try and control my breathing. I can try and find comfort and peace in the fact that He has a Plan and I can leave it to Him.
now, alhamdulillah, although my anxiety is not completely gone yet and won’t leave overnight, it has decreased significantly! this whole past year I’ve started to trust Allah so much more. and when waves of anxiety do come, I am able to talk to myself and calm myself down by trusting that Allah will make everything I’m worried about okay, that everything is His Will and I should just surrender. and life is so much more peaceful. it’s the peace i’ve been looking for for years. I realise now that the cure for my own anxiety is tawakkul and to surrender. and He gave it to me via the Qur’an. via his own Words.
so, the message in this story of mine is to read the Qur’an more with translation, turn to Allah more, and, especially, to trust Him. to surrender to Him. and believe me, it does take practise and is way easier said than done. but it’s a fight that’s worth fighting against yourself.
a du’a that helps me with this trust which I recite every morning x7 is: Haasbi allahu la illaha illah hua ‘alaihi tawakaltu wa hua Rabbul 'Arshil 'adheem
Translation: Allah is sufficient for me. There is none worthy of worship but Him. I have placed my trust in Him and He is the Lord of the majestic throne.
and when reciting it with full conviction, it really works wonders! :) alhamdulillah.
I pray this little story of mine helped you in any way !
have a great day/night. jazakallah for reading, it means a lot ♡.
— SabrGirl ♡
Jazak'Allah Khair!🌻✨