ramadan series: thoughts, feelings, intentions

plus 30-day ramadan challenge!

Salam! This post includes a 30-day Ramadan Challenge at the end - scroll down to check it out!

“Ramadan always comes at the right time” is what I always hear when Ramadan is around the corner, and my heart can’t help but smile every time I do. Before Ramadan, people (including myself) seem to be in some sort of hardship and struggle, and I can’t help but think that Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ deliberately intensifies the hardship before Ramadan begins so that we want and need Ramadan to come. This yearning makes us actively look forward to purifying our hearts, turning to Him completely, and seeking some ailment and healing through a greater nearness to Him during Ramadan. I think it’s one of the joys of being human— having the privilege to experience happiness, pain, grief and laughter— and all of it still bringing us back to Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ. Regardless of any situation and emotion, we still have our Creator there for us to turn to. How blessed are we to be given a month as beautiful as Ramadan, where He welcomes us with loving arms to run into! An entire month where it is easy to work on our character to please Him and attain true righteousness. Subhanallah. 

Ramadan is always pretty bittersweet for me— it’s my favourite month, and it brings me so much joy. Simultaneously, though, I do feel left out every year, as I have a chronic illness which prevents me from the main part of Ramadan—fasting. That always gets me emotional, as there are so many things I wonder about. Does it make you more present in prayer? What does it feel like to open your fast after a long day of fasting? What’s it like to open it with your family when everyone else around you has also been fasting? Does it make you physically feel closer to Allah? Does it really make you more aware of your shortcomings, and are you better able to fix them? Over the years, it’s made me feel like I’m not truly participating in Ramadan and missing out on blessings to the point where I’ve tried to force myself to fast before—which has almost ended up in disaster. Last year, I made myself a goal to fast for at least five days, and I still chuckle when I think back to that, as I could barely make it through one day! I just about completed a whole day of fasting and couldn’t do any more. However, this year, I feel more hopeful—but not in the way that I would usually think. Once, I was telling my friend, ‘if I didn’t have this illness, I’d actually be such a saint. I’d be doing every good thing,’ but they said, ‘Well… you don’t know that. You never know,’ and another friend of mine told me last year that ‘Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ knew what your illness would be before you were even conceived’. Thinking about this in the days leading up to Ramadan made me realise that maybe this illness is actually what’s helping me have blessings; otherwise, maybe Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ wouldn’t have made me have the illness. After all, He is (attribute of the month!) Al-Khabeer. Perhaps if I didn’t have this illness, I wouldn’t truly appreciate the beauty in the acts of worship and may have been lazy in taking care of them. I’ve also come to realise that there also isn’t a need to waste time thinking about what I would be like if I didn’t have it, as it’s not reality. 

“It may be that you dislike a thing while it is good for you, and it may be that you like a thing while it is bad for you. Allah knows all things, and you know not” (2:217).

Reflecting on this, I realised that so many good things have actually come out of the hardship and pain my illness gives me, and it showed me the beauty of just surrendering to the will of Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ. Going in with this mindset this year, I feel more hopeful than I’ve felt before while entering Ramadan (and I usually am insanely excited, so that really is saying something!) and am truly so excited for it. I’ve set my goals and intentions, which I’m looking forward to doing and, Insha’Allah, completing. I definitely feel happier now that I no longer feel like I’m not truly participating in Ramadan by fasting, as I’ve realised the beauty of being imperfect and still trying the best that I can do nonetheless. Instead of trying to reach for perfection and forcing myself to do what I cannot do, I’m now reaching for righteousness in the ways that I uniquely can. I think that’s all we can do— even in our everyday lives. Try our very best, no matter what that looks like on the day, without comparison to other people. I know I’ll still be paying my fidya again at the end of the month, but I still do have a goal for fasting—2 days this year!— which I’ll try and do in 4 days through half fasts, Insha’Allah. Nonetheless, my main focus is to give all my attention to attaining righteousness rather than fasting for the sake of it just because everyone else around me can. Although my focus has been to attain righteousness throughout Ramadan before, I feel comfort in surrendering to Allah’s will completely this year and trying my best instead, rather than trying to attain righteousness and having my thoughts clouded with sadness of not doing good enough because of my illness. I’ll be putting my trust in Allah and tying my camel at the same time :)

This Ramadan, it’s also incredibly important to remember our brothers and sisters in Palestine. It’s still uncertain as to whether a temporary ceasefire will go ahead yet, but unfortunately, it will not be permanent either way. My heart breaks thinking about how they will be fasting with little to nothing to eat at iftar time, with their mosques destroyed and not being able to pray there either. It can be very easy to fall into feelings of helplessness, especially seeing the coverage of what’s happening and feeling like there’s nothing you can do. However, do not doubt the power of prayer— especially during Ramadan. Please keep them in your sweetest prayers, pray for a permanent ceasefire, pray for their ease, pray for their fasts to be accepted and for them to be granted the loftiest spiritual heights and blessings throughout Ramadan and that they enter Jannatul Firdous.

I wish you all an early Ramadan Mubarak. May this month bring you closer to Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ than you ever have been, and may all your prayers be answered in beautiful ways. Ameen. 

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Ramadan 30 Day Challenge:

I made this challenge in the hopes of catering to as many people as I can - so, regardless of anyone's home situation, health, money, whether or not you live near a mosque or a community, etc, I think it is somewhat doable or adaptable for all! You can access anything you need for this (verses/surahs from the Qur'an for eg) online. I also know that the length of ramadan differs for different people and is either 29 or 30 days, so it's also fine to finish on the 29th day if necessary.

It starts easy and gets harder as you go along! I’ll also be doing this challenge, Insha’Allah, and you can keep up with me here!

1. recite surah ikhlas 3 times

2. recite durood sharif 3 times

3. read Qur'an after asr

4. recite the 3 Quls (last 3 surahs of the Qur'an) in the evening/before sleeping today

5. listen to an islamic podcast

6. write down 5 things you are grateful to Allah for on paper or phone notes app

7. istighfar 100 times

8. read all of surah mulk before bed

9. wake up for tahajjud and pray (at least) 2 rakaats

10. learn 5 names/attributes of Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ

11. do something nice for somebody else - can even be very small and will still be rewarded for it

12. wear your favourite abaya/thobe/modest clothing for every salah today. look your best for Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ in your prayer like you would to go to a special event

13. give some (charity) sadaqah (create a sadaqah jar/box!)

14. read the last 2 verses of surah baqarah before sleeping

15. make a du'a for your friends and family - name them and pray for something specific for each of them

16. read all of surah Ya Sin after fajr

17. pray 2 nafl rakaats (voluntary prayer) today after the 2 sunnah rakaats of zuhr

18. no backbiting/gossiping about anyone at all and 2 nafl rakaats (voluntary prayer) if you do

19. pick a surah from the Qur'an and read the commentary for each verse

20. memorise the dua to recite on laylatul qadr
    اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّكَ عَفُوٌّ تُحِبُّ الْعَفْوَ فَاعْفُ عَنِّي
    Allahumma innaka 'Afuwwun, tuhibbul 'afwa, fa'fu 'anni
    "O Allah, You are indeed Forgiving and love to forgive, so forgive me."

21. donate to a charity (for palestine!!). even the smallest amount will be beneficial + rewarded by Allah

22. recite ayatul kursi after each 5 fard (obligatory) salah

23. pray all the 12 sunnah today: 2 rakaats before Fajr; 4 rakaats before zuhr and two rakaats after; 2 rakaats after Maghrib; and 2 rakaats after Ishaa

24. pray (at least) 2 rakaats of taraweeh (either at the mosque or at home by yourself/with family!)

25. pray 2 rakaats of duha (optional) prayer - it is between 15 minutes after sunrise until zuhr time. (not after zuhr!!)

26. recite subhanallahi wabihamdi, subhanallahil adheem 100 times -
    (Glory be to Allah and all praise is due to Him, glory be to Allah, the Great)

27. be extra modest today (tailored to you. wear hijab outside if you don't, or wear your loosest outfit or lower your gaze completely (including lowering it on social media) today etc. whatever being extra modest is for you, do that today).

28. pray on time, no procrastination or delays. check what local time each prayer is for you and pray then (unless you're praying at the mosque!)

29. istighfar x1000 times

30. pray some of the nawafil ON TOP OF all the sunnah prayers that accompany the 5 obligatory prayers:
    - 2 rakaats of duha prayer
    - 2 rakaats after the 2 sunnah rakaats of zuhr
    - 4 rakaats before asr
    - 2 rakaats after the 2 sunnah rakaats of maghrib
    - 2 rakaats after the 2 sunnah rakaats of ishaa
    (extra challenge: wake up for tahajjud too)

level extreme: if you want an extra challenge, you can continue doing each one every day as you go along. for example, day 1 would be to recite surah ikhlas 3 times
day 2 would be to recite surah ikhlas & durood sharif 3 times
day 3 would be to recite surah ikhlas & durood sharif 3 times & read Qur'an after asr... etc.

may Allah make this challenge easy for whoever intends to participate and let the deeds indeed be multiplied by 100, Ameen ♡

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Grab a Blessing:

(2:202) رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ 
Rabbana atina fid-dunya hasanatan wa fil ‘akhirati hasanatan waqina ‘adhaban-nar

(Our Lord, grant us good in this world as well as good in the world to come, and protect us from the torment of the Fire).

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Attribute of the Month: Al-Khabeer (The All-Aware)

• a reminder that Allah knows what is going on in your life, in your heart, in your head, and knows exactly how you feel. He is aware and listening and is already making everything okay for you— everything that is happening at every second is Him making everything okay, perfectly okay. even an apple that ends up in your hands— that very apple was written specifically for you. trust Him.

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Jazakallah for reading. I’m feeling so extremely overwhelmed with love right now that I cannot possibly contain myself and must give it out before I explode. So, I’m sending you all heaps and heaps of love— know that you are indeed so incredibly loved and appreciated and I really pray you have the most spiritually transformative Ramadan of your lives so far, Ameen. Wishing you happiness and eternal sunshine :)

— SabrGirl ♡