'do not let their words grieve thee' - on islamophobia

uk riots, a crazy world

this is SabrGirl. a newsletter where, through my own life experiences and struggles, i hope to inspire, encourage, and also help people feel less alone in their life and islamic journey ♡

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police cars were parked outside of my mosque last week. i didn’t go for jumu’ah. messages across the whatsapp group-chats have advised women and children to minimise their attendance there for the next two weeks. my mother didn’t want me to go either. out of fear.

i can see my mosque from my kitchen window. i’ve always gone there, since i was a child. when i do, i always feel a shift inside me—to one of peace, safety and comfort. my whole life, i’ve always called it my second home. when i go to university (in a different city), i always feel homesick when i’m away from it. i feel jealous when my friends tell me they’re there for jumu’ah or for eid, when i’m not. it’s always been safe.

yet, all of a sudden, my safe space and my home now has fear attached to it. fear and uncertainty. will it be attacked? it’s jumu’ah… they know that friday is a day of worship for muslims. is it more likely to be attacked on jumu’ah? will i be safe?

i was walking home last week, in my little town in london—a place i’ve never thought of as unsafe. but i was clutching my bag tight, looking behind me. a white man passed me and i felt a slight fear arise inside me as he did. i continued walking and saw a white woman staring me down from her car. i jumped when i realised as i passed by her car window and saw a face glaring right at me. it didn’t look friendly. after a minute, i looked over my shoulder—she didn’t come out of her car, right? oh. she actually did, with a man. they’re behind me. probably nothing, right? let me speed up anyway—let me cross the road when it’s still a red stop sign for pedestrians.

you can’t be too careful.

i was walking to my mum’s car when it was dark the other day—the road was pretty empty. i thought about whether people were looking at me, whether they were wondering if i felt scared walking outside when it’s dark—given the state of the UK right now. maybe they look at muslims a lot now or notice us more. maybe they thought i was brave.

i’ve never thought about something like this before.

someone told me to consider taking off my hijab when i go outside. i told them i’d rather die. on twitter, i see some people say their mothers, their sisters, their wives are scared and wonder if they should take it off too. we know what the answer is. we just want the reassurance anyway. someone to tell us that we’re safe and Allah is with us.

my sister went for zuhr by herself the other day and i got scared. i do du’as for my mum when she leaves the house.

i’ve never felt like this before.

my sweet, non-muslim friends text me, check up on me.

[08/08/2024, 10:55]: I hope you're somewhere far better than the UK rn

[08/08/2024, 10:55] This is so irritating

[08/08/2024, 10:56]: i bloody wish

[08/08/2024, 10:56]: what did i do to them

[08/08/2024, 10:56]: all i do is say my prayers and vibe

then, on jumu’ah, i decided to go for an evening walk at 7pm. it was still bright outside, the sun was still on its way to set. i was walking in the centre of my town, on the main road, and saw my neighbour. he was already staring at me and yelled (loudly), ‘kiss my ***’. i looked at him, puzzled, and said ‘oh—’.

i walked away and looked over my shoulder to find him watching me. i hurried along, incase he decided to follow me.

i walked through the park, across the field. i felt sad that they cut the grass—i can no longer hide away from the world in the tall weeds anymore (probably best with the current state of the world though, i guess). i called my mother and told her what happened, got some chips and made my way back home. but i knew he would be there, waiting. so i hid in the bushes near my block and i called my mum again to tell her my plan:

mama. i don’t know if the man is outside or not but if he is, i’m going to run and ring the buzzer and you’re going to buzz me in fast.

that meant stay by the door and wait for my ring. but she told me she was about to go on a walk herself and she’s going to come downstairs.

i hung up, moved from the bushes and turned into my block. and, as i expected, my neighbour was sitting on the pavement, looking in my direction. he immediately yelled, ‘DIRT! get the (you know what) out of my face. SCUM!’ i quickly dialled my mum again, scared for my life. ‘yeah! be on your phone!’. she told me to stay there and not walk past him, as she could hear him from inside, but there was no way i was going to stand where he could see me. so i quickly dashed past him as my mum came outside. he was still at it, yelling and staring at the two of us now, telling us, ‘look what you’ve done!’ (have not done anything), and my mum told me i should come with her on her walk now because she’s afraid. but we wondered how we were going to get past him safely. i told her, let’s drive past him in the car and park on another road. then we can get out and go for a walk.

at this point, i started laughing, thinking about how i’m currently in a crazy thriller movie—which set him off even more, as he stood up and began to walk in our direction. i told my mum drive fast! and we went past him.

i don’t know what on earth is happening right now in this country. i’ve never seen this much islamophobia before. i’m confused. i see all these arguments on tv, on social media. people making all sorts of allegations about islam and muslims. it’s not like i’ve never seen this kind of stuff before—i usually roll my eyes, ignore it and leave it to God when i do. but now…? it’s a lot. it’s unavoidable. it’s outside of my house.

now i walk outside and wonder who to trust. i look up to the sky and find that it’s Allah. turning to the Qur’an, i try and find His advice, His consolation:

So by thy Lord, We will, surely, question them all

Concerning that which they used to do.

So declare openly that with which thou are commanded and turn aside from those who ascribe partners to God.

We will, surely, suffice thee against those who mock:

Who set up another God with Allah, but soon shall they come to know.

And, indeed, We know that thy bosom becomes straitened because of what they say.

But glorify thy Lord praising Him, and be of those who prostrate themselves before Him.

And continue worshipping thy Lord, till death comes to thee (15:93-100).

♡

And bear patiently all that they say; and part with them in a decent manner.

And leave Me alone with those who reject the truth, the possessors of ease and plenty; and give them a little respite (73:11-12).

♡

And the servants of the Gracious God are those who walk on the earth in a dignified manner, and when the ignorant address them, they say, ‘Peace!’ (25:64).

Allah tells us how to fight back: through our worship of Him. through being kind, being patient. by continuing ‘in a dignified manner’ and leaving the rest to Him. He doesn’t tell us to fight back through violence—but through enduring all that they say, all that they do, and He tells us to direct our energy into glorifying Him instead.

He tells us to remain peaceful. to ‘part with them in a decent manner’ — rather than being rude or causing harm to them. this is islam. at the end of the day, through this, they can taunt and disrespect and abuse us all that they want but we’ll have the last laugh. because Allah Himself says:

They desire to extinguish the light of Allah with their mouths; but Allah will permit nothing except that He will perfect His light, though the disbelievers may dislike it (9:32).

in a way, we’re also the light of Allah. His righteous servants, His believers. so what do i have to prove to anyone else when my Lord is with me? i know my religion isn’t what they say it is. i know that islam is the medicine that saved my life—and will continue to save me and anyone and everyone who is blessed and guided to be a muslim. i know what islam really is about. and i know that the word ‘islam’ is not an oxymoron. that’s enough. i will continue turning to Allah, as He says, and focus on my relationship with Him.

i guess the fear is still prevalent, though. but that’s where the prayers come in. for protection, for safety, for mercy. He is with us. all of us.

prayer is our weapon.

may Allah keep all of us, our family, friends, loved ones and the entire muslim ummah safe. Ameen.

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Attribute of the Month - Al-Muqtadir, The All-Powerful:

‘My Lord is with me. He will guide me aright’ (26:63)

• no matter what people say against islam, Allah will always prevail, He has the upper hand, He has the strength and all the power. in this context, reflecting on this month’s attribute, Al-Muqtadir, helps me to have a greater trust in Allah, knowing that He will protect and look after me, and that He hears my du’a’s for protection. it also gives me the hope that He really will deal with these enemies and disbelievers who are not only making false claims about islam but are also abusing muslims—both physically, verbally and also mentally in their heads. we don’t have to do anything except be peaceful, continue in our faith and glorify Him, as He asks. leave the rest to the All-Powerful Allah.

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Grab a Blessing:

• Ya Hafizo Ya Azizo Ya Rafiq
  (O Protector, O Mighty, O Kind!)

• A'uzu bi kalimatillah hit-taammati min sharri ma khalaq
  (I seek protection in the perfect words of Allah from every evil that has been created)

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jazakallah for reading. i hope you’re all well! i’m having so much fun in my islamic summer school, i’m learning so much. but i’m also so exhausted, having to wake up super early every single day to not be marked as late. it’s really taking me back to secondary school… i have no idea how i did it back then. and the content is also heavy. i have a million classes like history, tajweed, commentary, split word, arabic, fiqh, comparative studies, hadith studies etc, and more. i’m so grateful and happy. in fact, i have to go and do my homework now for my hifz class (memorise the first 10 verses of surah al-a’la and everyone must recite it by heart on thursday before we can move to the next 10 verses. i won’t be that one person who makes the class stagger. better start memorising. you get 10 marks each, out of 30, for tajweed, memorisation and melody. wish me luck!)

wishing you all eternal sunshine :) may Allah make all your dreams and prayers come true. stay safe, wherever you are. sending lots of love,

— SabrGirl ♡