august - attribute of the month

on *firm* belief in Allah's Power. on miracles.

this is SabrGirl. a newsletter where, through my own life experiences and struggles, i hope to inspire, encourage, and also help people feel less alone in their life and islamic journey ♡

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salam everyone :) it’s been a hot minute! july has been crazy busy — so much has happened (for eg, i graduated! alhamdulillah), i’ve learnt so much, which i will go into at a later date Insha’Allah. for now, it’s a new month! happy august.

honestly time shocks me every time i think about it and feel it passing by. but, as usual, i spun the attribute wheel after asking Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ for one of His beautiful names to reflect on this month, and it landed on Al-Muqtadir, the Powerful.

Al-Qadir and Al-Muqtadir both stem from the same root of qaf-dal-ra (ق د ر) and lead to the same meaning of Allah being omnipotent. yet, the difference between the two is that Al-Qadir means that Allah is the Able — He has perfect ability to do all that He wills and exert His power, and nothing can ever stop Him. whereas, Al-Muqtadir means that Allah has overwhelming, supreme and complete power and strength over everything and anything.

i’ve always been an advocate for truly believing, wholeheartedly, in Allah’s power as a way to have all of your prayers answered and Allah making your dreams come true. the stories in the Qur’an about various miracles are what strengthen my conviction in Allah’s Power—Him splitting the sea for Musa (as), getting Yunus (as) out of a whale, allowing Maryam (as) to have a baby while she was a virgin, cooling the fire for Ibrahim (as). i often use these miracles in my prayers to try and convince Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ to answer my prayers. i’ll recall a personal story in relation to this.

last november, my friends and i wanted to go ice skating and (somehow) i was the one to buy tickets for all of us and they’d send me the money after. but, right after buying them, i realised that i had accidentally bought the tickets for the wrong day. and that was a day we specifically said none of us could do. panicking, i went through their website to find out how i can get a refund. to my dismay, i saw, ‘due to high demand, we are unable to refund or exchange any tickets. we apologise for any inconvenience’. i tried to find their number to call them and ask anyway but, when i did, the automated voice said they close at 7pm and are unable to take my call. it was 7:10pm. and guess when the wrong ticket date was for? the next day.

defeated, i facetimed my friend and knocked on the bedroom doors of my others to tell them my mistake and how sorry i was for wasting their money, as, since it can’t be refunded, they won’t get their money back now and none of us can go. they told me it was fine but i still felt so bad, so guilty. i had one job to buy tickets and managed to mess it up. it had totalled up to £60 in total as well. all gone to waste.

i had to find a way for the tickets to be refunded for my friends to get their money back, or at least exchanged to the right date. but i felt so helpless seeing that the company doesn’t give a refund. the high demand was true, the ice skating rink is only there in november-december, and it gets busy because of that. but knowing the Allah i know, that wasn’t going to stop me from trying. so i started praying.

i made it a plan to wake up for tahajjud and beg Allah to let them be refunded, even though it was practically ‘impossible’. and i did. i woke up and i prayed and prayed and cried, feeling so guilty and upset. i remember telling him, ‘You literally put a whole baby inside a virgin and even Hadrat Maryam (as) asked Jibril ‘how can i give birth when no man has touched me?’ and he said it’s easy for Allah, all You have to say is ‘be’ and it is. so if You can do that and just say ‘be’ for such an impossible miracle, then how easy is it for You to just refund or exchange these tickets for me? it’s so easy, You don’t even have to move an inch! please! please!’ and i continued at this, praying and praying and begging Him to let it be so, even though the website said that no refunds or exchanges are possible. there was no way i could just believe it was impossible to get a refund. impossible doesn’t exist in my eyes. not when there’s a God. i believe in His power with every part of me.

after fajr, i then got ready for school which started at 9am that day. in class, i still wasn’t giving up and continued scanning the website to try to find a way. i made it a plan to call the company during the ten-minute break in my class and, in the meantime, i sent an online query to them through their website which said that they would get back to me via email in 24 to 48 hours time. that stressed me out further as the ice skating tickets were for that day.

during my ten-minute break, i went outside and dialled the number. an automated voice told me, ‘please hold’ and i was waiting for ages to the instrumental of ‘do you want to build a snowman?’ from frozen. my patience was growing thinner as the song kept repeating itself over and over. i can still hear it ringing in my head now. then, out of nowhere, the call ended. i was so confused. and angry. i called again, listening to the same song while i was on hold, just for it to end again after ten minutes. on my phone, i searched on google and managed to find a different number—this was the number of the overall franchise. thankfully, someone actually picked up this time and i told her i want to refund or exchange my tickets. she asked me what city i’m in. when i told her, she said i have to call the desk of that city, rather than her, because only the local people can help me. and guess what number she gave me? the same one i initially was calling.

defeated again, i went back to my class which had already restarted a while ago and surrendered. i remember saying, ‘as You will,’ and decided to listen to what was actually being spoken about in my class. but i still felt so sad. i got out my phone again and was about to message my other friend who i hadn’t told yet about this whole fiasco and was going to say how sorry i was. i think i had even written the message out. but all of a sudden, i felt a random urge to check my email. and when i did, i saw an email confirmation of my tickets being exchanged to the correct date! i couldn’t believe my eyes. i was so happy! i still don’t know how it happened. no one picked up the phone. i couldn’t even talk to the company. my guess is that, although the website said that online queries will be responded to in 24 hours, someone saw it and changed it. otherwise, it really happened out of nowhere! and Allah answered my prayers. and made what was ‘impossible’, possible for me :) subhanallah.

i was so excited i remember telling my friends the miracle that had just happened. i remember meeting up with my best friend after my class, who i also had bought a ticket for, to study together on campus. our other friend tagged along (she wasn’t coming with us to iceskating) and i told them the whole story and what i had prayed for that morning, which was met with instant regret and embarrassment. i remember they laughed at me so much when i told them, as they said, ‘so if that’s what you say in your prayers for tickets that cost £12, what are you going to say to God when something bad actually happens? what else is there left to say above Maryam (as)’s example?’. it was hilarious. but i felt (and still feel) so embarrassed! perhaps i really was being so dramatic… for ice skating tickets. but i honestly felt so horrible, i didn’t want their money to go to waste at all, no matter how much it costed. the whole thing has become an inside joke between us all now, though. whenever i say something to my friends such as, ‘no don’t worry, God is on my side, it’ll happen’ or, ‘no, it’s not impossible’, my friends immediately go ‘IF GOD CAN PUT A BABY INSIDE A VIRGIN!’ and start laughing. it’s funny and embarrassing but i also feel proud of being known in my friendship group for my belief in His powers :) i hope it’s inspiring. i wish the whole world believed so deeply in Him.

i often say to Allah when i’m asking for something i really want: ‘i know You have the power to make it happen, so it’s only about whether You want it to happen. please want it to happen’.

at this, people often object and i’ve had a few debates with people who always say the same thing—that ‘Allah is not a genie’ and you can’t always get what you want, He won’t always make your wishes come true. i had this same conversation a few weeks ago. this is true—Allah is not a genie. but He is al-Muqtadir.

i know that you don’t always get what you want because i’m currently in a phase of my life where i didn’t get what i wanted. and, as of late, i have been reflecting on things that i really wanted and things i thought were good for me and, instead, am thanking Allah that i didn’t get them. because the things i ended up having instead were so much better. and that’s one of my favourite parts about Allah being Al-Muqtadir, the all-Powerful. because no, He is not a genie but if you ask, you’ll never be disappointed. you either will get what you wanted or, you won’t get that exact thing but something better. or something else that embodies the same feeling of what you thought the initial thing would give you. sometimes you’ll need some wisdom and insight to understand how it’s better for you, other times it’s crystal clear. either way, i don’t think anything should ever stop you from making the du’a’s you want to make and asking for what you want to ask for. why limit yourself? by doing that, you limit Allah and His power.

understand that Allah is not a genie but simultaneously believe firmly in His power and ability. Al-Muqtadir, Al-Qadir. and by believe, i mean know and feel it your whole heart—feel it in your entire chest and every fibre of your being— that this! prayer! will! be! answered! nothing is impossible, not for Allah. not if He split the sea. not if He got a human out of a whale (who was in there for days, might i add!) when that’s literally a guaranteed death. not if He put a baby inside a virgin. you’re living in a different time period but you still have the same God as they did. understand this, know this, and feel this in your heart and soul and mind. then make your du’a’s. and wait for the magic to happen.

this is a reminder for my own self. believing firmly in His power also requires a lot of trust in Allah, and i’ve been praying for a lot of big things lately. things that i know people will say is unrealistic or impossible to get. which does get in my head and leaves me stressed. reflecting on Al-Muqtadir this month is remembering the times Allah has shown me miracles through His power and knowing in my heart that there is no prayer too big.

for me, it’s also about knowing that Allah’s power includes His understanding too. i’ve been trying to convince Allah in my prayers lately to understand the reasons why i want or don’t want something, and for Him to understand where i’m coming from—as if He doesn’t already understand. of course He does. He’s Allah, the Lord of all the Worlds.

that’s what my intentions are for august. let us invoke Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ with His beautiful name, Al-Muqtadir, when we make our du’a’s.

now it’s your turn to reflect…

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prompts/reflections:

• what prayers of yours has Allah answered? what miracles has He shown in your life?

• are you a people pleaser? sometimes when you’re so afraid of displeasing others and prioritise their own approval and happiness over your own often means that you tend to view others as powerful—as you put them on a pedestal. if this feels true to you, it’s better to try and divert this view to Allah instead. He is Al-Muqtadir, the All-Powerful and we should be striving to please Him over the creation. what do you think would be helpful for you to prioritise His pleasure over others more?

• what do you think can help you believe more deeply in Allah’s power? reading more stories in the Qur’an about the miracles/blessings Allah bestowed upon His righteous servants? praying more about things that are ‘impossible’ or ‘hard’ and seeing how they come to light? praying for Allah to help you believe more firmly in His powers?

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Grab a Blessing:

• Allahumma inna Malikun Muqtadirun ma tasha-u min amrin yakun
  (O Allah, Possessor of all Power, whatever You will happens, whatever You don't doesn't happen)

• astagfirullah rabbi min kulli zambin wa atubu ilaih
  (i seek forgiveness from Allah for all my sins and i repent unto Him)

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how are you all? sending so much love, it’s been a while. hopefully, now that the business of july has subsided, i can write more frequently again, Insha’Allah. life has been nice, alhamdulillah :) i absolutely love community, i love bonding with people over islam. i love the conversations i’ve been having lately. and with Allah.

i wish i could give another nature update like i love to do but i haven’t had time to wander into the forests lately. however, i have upgraded my adventurism into strolling on grass barefoot. the other day, it was raining so heavily outside with thunder and lightning while my family and i were at a dinner in a park. i really wanted to walk across the field barefoot and, after saying it about 100 times as we ate, i finally convinced my sister to walk with me barefoot on the wet, warm grass while we held our sandals. i was upset that by the time we finally walked, the rain had stopped. nonetheless, it was so relaxing. meanwhile, everybody looked at us like we were crazy, especially because it was so wet. i love life. i thrive in nature.

oh! and i’m also starting a summer school at my mosque’s school of islamic theology and modern languages for women tomorrow! i’ve never been more excited in my life. i haven’t shut up about this to the people in my life and will continue to talk about my excitement. wish me luck!

until next time, Insha’Allah. lots of love,

— SabrGirl ♡